Man versus Animal – The Age Old Battle

Image via Wikipedia

Since the emergence of man and his ascent of the food chain, there as always been friction between man and beast. Even today the battle rages.

As I have said before, I have a big tree in my garden – you remember, when I told you about a pair of Great Tits. In that tree also lives a Grey Squirrel – my nemesis.

The squirrel is nothing special, he is a little shabby, and one could not accuse him of being cute and cuddly.

So back in November, I bought some fat balls for the birds to feast on over the cold winter months. If you don’t know, fat balls are balls of lard filled with seeds and nut. I hung them from the tree branches – the birds would now have something to eat.

A day later whilst looking out of my kitchen window, I saw that instead of a nice vista of varied birds helping themselves, I saw a squirrel pulling the last one up into the tree – what a git! Obviously the little bugger had figured out how to get a free meal. I wasn’t going to be bettered by a common garden squirrel – I needed a plan. Using some drinking straws, I fed the string through the straws and attached new balls – lard balls of course. Mr Squirrel would not be able to pull these up – ha-ha.

Again, in my kitchen looking out of the window one hour later and I saw the bloody squirrel sliding down the straw covered strings to eat the fat balls. It wasn’t looking good – Squirrel 2 – me 0. I needed to think of something else. Surely I am far more intelligent than this nut nibbler?

I decided that I should make this a little tougher for the squirrel – I moved the balls to the clothes line, hanging from there on their strings within the straws… and I GREASED THE STRAWS! -  Cue evil villain laugh… Mwahahahahaha.

Mr Squirrel never touched them again – that day.

Next morning in the kitchen, having my coffee. I watched open mouthed as the squirrel scurried along the clothes line and started to nibble the knot in the string. I think he sensed me watching him, he looked up and I swear he winked at me. He returned to chewing the knot until the balls fell to the floor, he then dropped to the floor and collected the ball.

Squirrel 3 – Me 0

I know when I am beaten – well done squirrel, you win