“Do you think you are the first person to come and see me with such worries? You are not. Many adult males have similar fantasies, the result of which, for many, is that they feel – because they harbor such thoughts – that there is a fault with their minds. There is not. All I do is reveal a way for people such as yourself to control their own thoughts and show how to become an integrated human being.”

          “Do they learn to live with their fantasies, Doctor?” I asked.

          “Not only that,” Doctor Baylor said, “but they learn to minimalize them too. Just as you will. You see, this fantasy is a part of your personality – to lose it is to lose a part of you. Come to terms with who you are and your fantasy becomes just that, a harmless fantasy that you may or may not indulge in, if you decide to.”

          “But why shooting people, Doctor? Why not having sexual intercourse with them, if that’s what it really is?”

          “Only you can answer that – but not for a while. This particular fantasy is no different in origin to the many others I have helped others to adjust to – being the last man on earth and therefore own the world; being the last fertile man on earth and therefore owning all of the women; being able to go back in time with the advantages of possessing adult knowledge; being able to escape from reality by pretending that life is the dream and the dream reality. These are some of the fantasies that people have come to me with. Like yours they are an effect, not a cause. You can limit the effect of this effect by your own efforts. Later we will examine possible causes.

          “The only time you will find you have problems is if you try to live out your fantasy. That is when the threat of insanity becomes very real. Keep your fantasy a fantasy, recognize it for what it is – make sure you are always able to differentiate between fantasy and reality and there will never be any mental instability for you.”

          I was so relieved I could have wept with joy. I was normal.

          “Obviously, I realized that it was just a fantasy, Doctor,” I said, “but it was bothering me all the same. However, having the fantasy doesn’t make me want to actually go out, buy a rifle and start to shoot people though.”

          “Good,” said Doctor Baylor. “You are already controlling your subconscious desires. If you practice my mental control exercise, I am sure you will benefit immediately. However, just in case you remain ill-at-ease for a while, you have my number, so don’t hesitate to contact me if you feel it is necessary.”

          I got up and put my jacket back on. I was very relieved. The fantasy had worried me a lot. Now, however, I felt that I could deal with it. I wasn’t some sort of psychopathic freak waiting for some as yet unknown emotional trigger to send me out to kill innocents. I was simply in the midst of a machismo-dominated fantasy phase, as Doctor Baylor had said.

          I shook the Doctor’s hand and thanked him, then left the building.

          After I had gone, Doctor Baylor took his large caliber hunting rifle out of his locker, climbed up onto the roof of the building his office was in and, with calm deliberation, started taking pot-shots at the people in the street below.

Marksman

© R J Dent (2010)

www.rjdent.com

http://rjdent.wordpress.com/