As I walk down the street, the world graying around me, I finally feel the weight of your words sink in. Fighting back the tears, an emotional outpouring that  I can’t hide from forever, I walk on. 

I held you as you cried, your tears liquid pieces of your heart, rolling down your face on to my shirt. I held you as you told me your troubles, your pain, your hurt. You told me your secrets as we lay together, completely trusting me. I took your hand, and told you that I would forever be yours.

I rest my head against the cool brick of the alley walls. The tears slowly began to come, I couldn’t fight it any longer. What you said just wouldn’t go away, and I realize now that there will be no second chance this time.

You always told me how much you loved my smile. You told me that it made you feel safe, that everything was going to be just fine. I thought you were joking, I didn’t think that any part of me was special, and I said so. You just laughed and kissed me, a gentle brushing of lips that had me heels over head for days. 

The walls seemed to close around me, claustrophobia took over my sense. I ran, blindly pushing my way out of the alley and through the crowd, not caring where I was going, not caring what happened to me. You were gone, and there was nothing else that mattered.

The first time I told you I loved you, you seemed shocked. I wasn’t expecting that to happen, you were always so sure of yourself. You looked at me, looking for the catch, the trick, like I was joking about it somehow. Finding none, you pulled me closer, and returned the favor. You whispered in my ear that you loved me too, and that I had saved you from yourself.

I run as far as I can, and then just a bit farther. I need space, some wide open place where I  can let my emotions run rampant. Instead I end up in front of your old house, empty and heartless. The cold eyes of the boarded windows stare back at me, seeming to peer into my soul itself. I can’t bear this anymore, I take off once again.