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  This is the type of story that should begin with believe it or not. Up front I’ll let you know that even my best friends don’t believe me, but it happened. I guess this would rank right up there with UFO’s and Bigfoot. Although this story is just as strange as either of those examples it’s probably harder to believe.

   I remember it like it was this morning. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and the birds were singing. The back deck was in full sun and the table I sat at was getting warm. My coffee still steamed after fifteen minutes and I was beginning to sweat. This was the kind of morning when I could almost be convinced to buy a pool. As it was, I was thinking of running through the sprinkler. Suddenly the grind of the garage door opening broke the picturesque setting. My wife was at work and no one else had an opener. I ran down the steps and around the house to the now open garage.

   There was nothing out of the ordinary other than the door being open. Just as I was about to close the door and get back to my morning coffee, a push broom leaning against the back wall of the garage fell over. I then saw movement out of the corner of my eye. It appeared to be a squirrel.

   I ran to the back wall and yelled. This was meant to scare the squirrel and cause it to run out the door. It didn’t work. The squirrel charged me. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in front of a charging squirrel, this was my first time, but it’s not pleasant. My college biology class came to mind. The pictures of the squirrel’s anatomy were the first I remembered. It had a set of fangs that rivaled a rattlesnake. The squirrel used the fangs to break open nuts. I hoped this wasn’t what the squirrel had in mind as it charged. I did what any self-respecting man would do. I ran from the squirrel screaming like a little girl. I exited out the side door. Circling around I was back in front of the open garage door, a safe twenty feet away.