For weeks our small town police chief had been receiving distressing phone calls from Miss Annie, one of the town’s elderly ladies. Every day she would relate in very intimate, descriptive detail how an evil spirit was molesting her at night.

Try as he might, he could not convince her otherwise. Embarrassed by the calls but kindhearted by nature, the chief decided he’d try to help her for both their sakes. Eventually, he concocted a plan and called a boyhood friend for help. “Bob, I’ve heard you kid folks that you’ll put a spell on them if they mess with you. I know you’re just funning, but there’s a problem I think you can help me with.” Bob heard the story of the midnight ordeal, listened to the chief’s plan, and decided he could make this happen with a little imagination.

On the day in question, the police chief, two deputies, and Bob arrived at the lady’s house to do battle. Bob really dressed for the part, wearing a long black robe, ash on his face, beads around his neck, and carrying an ominous looking container filled with talcum powder. He came in ceremoniously with his container, took a few furtive glances left and right, and walked around the room, sniffing the air in several places before he returned to the chief’s side. The chief introduced him to Miss Annie as, “Shaman Bob who talks to spirits and knows how to get rid of evil ones.”

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Things were looking up.

As they watched closely, Bob started roaming haltingly through the house, making gestures and summoning the spirit to show itself. After a brief venture into each room, Bob returned and announced to the elderly victim, “What you’ve got here is an ‘Attic Demon,’ and I’m going to have to go up there and get him!” Miss Annie looked frightened but shook her head ‘yes’ and showed Bob where the stairs were.

While the chief and his deputies stood guard with Miss Annie, Bob headed up into the attic, talcum powder and all, mumbling a little gibberish under his breath. In a few minutes, the chief yelled up, “Do you see him yet?” and Bob replied, “Not yet.” This dialogue went on for a couple of minutes. Then Bob faked an awful screeching “eeeeyoow” and called down, “Now I see him, he’s over there in the corner!”

Miss Annie’s eyes got big, and the chief thought she was going to faint, so he made her sit down in a chair. “Hold on, Miss Annie, it’ll be over soon.” That’s when Bob started talking to the demon and threatening him with his “voodoo dust.”

Bob began throwing a little powder, letting it drift down the opening so Miss Annie could see it, and each time they heard the demon yowl again in pain. By now, Miss Annie had a death grip on the chief’s wrist, and the deputies moved over to the door, trying to keep it together and not blow the plan. More bloodcurdling yowls and more voodoo dust.

Miss Annie started rocking back and forth in her chair, hollering “Amen” every time Bob made another threat. For a while the commotion upstairs roamed all about the attic, then they heard it moving in their direction, closer to the opening. Miss Annie’s rocking just kept getting faster. At this point, she’d let go of the chief and folded her hands prayer-like in her lap. That’s when Bob yelled out instructions to the deputies below, “Open up the door, boys; I’ve got him on the run!” They did as they were told and stood by for what was to come.

One last screech, then Bob came out of the attic in an impressive flurry of white dust and black robes, mumbling more gibberish, fanning his arms, and moving toward the door. With one final flourish, he yelled, “He’s ou. Close the door!” The deputies slammed it shut, and Bob ran over to meticulously drop a barrier of voodoo dust on the inside of the doorframe.

Then, Bob returned to Miss Annie and assured her that her Attic Demon was gone for good. As a final remedy, he placed his beads around her neck and told her that she should wear them at all times. “I’ve put a spell on them,” he said, “and they’re good for any kind of evil spirit, even werewolves and vampires. Keep these on and you’ll never be bothered again!” You could tell Miss Annie believed him as she gave Bob the sweetest smile ever to grace her withered face.

As of this writing, the chief hasn’t received any more calls.