Michael Muggalby was always an exceptionally clumsy person and his life was full of embarrassing little accidents.   But this tale is only about one of his misadventures, namely the story of his disappearing dentures.   Or Muggalby’s missing molars as his friends loved to say.   “Lost any good dentures lately, Muggalby?” they’d tease him.

Before describing Muggalby’s misadventures with his dentures, however, it is necessary to go back a little in time.   All his life Muggalby had been notorious for losing things.   While many parents complain about children breaking their toys, Muggalby’s parents had no problems with breakages, only losses.   His mother would often say, “No matter how many toys we give Mick for Christmas, you can be certain he’ll have them all lost before New Year’s Day!”

Despite this though there was one thing he was careful not to lose: his teeth.   All his life, right up until late middle-age he had been a studious adherent of dental hygiene.   He avoided sweets and sugary foods and was careful to always brush his teeth three times a day.

So, despite losing everything and sundry throughout his life, Muggalby managed to hold onto his own teeth until just after his sixtieth birthday.

Shortly after his fifty-eighth birthday, Muggalby, who had never had a day’s illness in his life, came down with a bout of flu.   Although in fairness to him, it was an unusually virulent variety of flu strain-B, which killed more than eighty thousand people world-wide that year.

In Australia there were only a couple of deaths, but nearly three million people came down sick.   Including poor Muggalby who went close to death but managed to recover.

What he didn’t seem to be able to recover from though, were the endless colds he came down with the following that winter.

“They’re a result of the flu overloading your immune system last year,” explained the doctor.

“How do I cure them?” he asked.   Although it came out, “Ow ooh oor em.”

“You can’t, I’m afraid,” said the GP.   “There’s no cure for the common cold.”

Muggalby was not convinced, so he decided to get a second opinion.   He found his local chemist far more reassuring, since, unlike the doctor who got paid whether or not he wrote any prescription, the chemist had to make a sale before getting paid.   Therefore he was very helpful indeed, recommending almost everything that he had in stock.   Carefully pointing out that anything he did not have in stock could not possibly work, otherwise he would stock it.