You never forget the first time you pick up a hooker.  I’m assigned to the VICE squad, which is an eighteen-month tour of being in over your head with everything from picking up hookers, pornography and sex to gambling, liquor and any other deviant activity people like to get involved with.

The squad met upstairs in the VICE office to go over the complaints they receive from the community.  “There is the same complaint we have had for many years… prostitution on Washington Boulevard,” said the Sergeant, “since Hallock is new, we’ll let him go first,” said the Serge smiling and looking at me.  “No problem, tell me how to do it,” I said leaning back in my chair trying to look and sound calm and cool.

Picking up prostitutes is an art form, you have to be a good actor and play the part.  The squad took a few minutes and taught me what I could say and what I could not once the girl got in the car.  “Be careful not to entrap them with words,” said one of the guys who had been in VICE a long time, “and don’t let them put their hands down your pants or try to kiss you,” said another old VICE Cop laughing.

I got into the undercover car and put the Police radio and my gun in a secret place easy to get to if I needed it.  Other VICE Officers were set up at the arresting spot where I was suppose to drive to with the hooker once I had a violation.  ”You guys follow behind him and keep a good eye, in case something goes wrong,” said the Sergeant.  “No one fails their first time,” snarled an old seasoned Officer, “let’s see how good you are kid.”

I started driving in the undercover car down Washington Boulevard and tried to look like a pervert, “What’s a pervert look like,” I thought to myself, “I am the only white guy out here, clean cut with Cop written all over his face…who am I fooling.”

I drove past a young woman standing on the corner of Mansfield and Washington and she gave me a look.  I made a couple of passes back and forth and finally I pulled over.  My heart was in my throat.  She walked up to the passenger side of the car and leaned in the window.  “Hey, what are you looking for,” she said with a smile.  “Oh, I’m just driving around…uhh, I’m not sure what I’m looking for,” I said nervous as hell.  “Mind if I get in,” she said with a calm voice.  “No, hop in,” I said looking in my rear view mirror seeing the other Cops down the street.  “Can you unlock the door sweetie,” she said smiling.  She got in the car and I drove away.  “You smell really good,” I told her, “Thanks I just got my clothes out of the washer and didn’t have time to dry them,” she explained.  I looked at her white pants she was wearing and they were wet.  “My name is Naomi, what’s yours,” she asked politely, “Mark, my name is Mark,” I said.  “What you want Mark, what is it that Naomi can do for you today,” she asked rubbing my right arm and shoulder.  “Well, I am really nervous and this is my first time,” I explained.  I decided to use my true nervousness to my advantage.  “Don’t you worry sweetie, Naomi will take good care of you, no need to be nervous…I’ll give you a good blow job for $25.”  Well what do you know, that was all I needed for the violation, so I drove to the arresting site and Naomi was arrested for prostitution.