After a few minutes of conversation, we swung by the hotel room to use the restroom and freshen up. We then made our way back to the same ballroom, as the burlesque show, to watch a band perform. We were joined by Luann Splatter, Gloria Vanderbitch, and Dixie Witch. The band spent a while getting set up, but we decided to hangout to see how they sounded. The entire band was dressed in similar jumpsuits. From my experiences that usually means that they will either be amazing, i.e. Devo, or awful. Sadly, they fell into the later category. I felt bad leaving during the first song, but I would have rather listened to a CD of Cambodian cats having sex than listen to that band any longer. 

We then decided to make our way to the stormtrooper party. The party was packed full of the stormtroopers wearing their dark blue uniforms, complete with regimental regalia. Normally, I would have performed a complete 180 and made my way out of there as fast as possible, but they were mixing up a batch of trashcan punch. The best part was that they were making the punch in an actual trashcan. I felt the need to point out that it is only called trashcan punch because large plastic container punch just didn’t sound right, but I resisted the urge. The highlight of the party was the announcement that the stormtrooper group had collected money to have a guy from Battlestar Galactica appear for the convention. They presented the guy with a black stormtrooper costume. Why? I have no idea. As long as I had a full cup of punch, I wasn’t questioning much. I was amazed at how little alcohol it takes for an All-Con nerd to think he’s cool enough to hit on the hottest girl at the convention, Calypso. It’s not enough that he tried to leap much too high up the scale of hotness, but that he didn’t get  discouraged by being blown off. After about 15 minutes of watching this, it became apparent that Trigger and I might need to intervene.

Unfortunately, the subtle approach didn’t work with this guy. I sought out his friends and in no uncertain term suggested that they step in and wrangle their buddy in before Trigger or I had to. Without incident, his friends brought the situation to a close. I heard the next day that the guy had ended up passing out and spent the rest of his night getting fucked with. Karma may not be a fan of sci-fi conventions, but she’s still a bitch.

Shortly after we got things calmed down with Calypso and her handsy fan, the derby girls started peeling off and heading home. I stuck around long enough to make sure that the girls that were staying were at the hotel were all accounted for and safe. I then made my way out and made a stop at the Whataburger on the way for some taquitos. Taquitos at 3am are so much better than at any other time of the day.

Upon waking up the next day some time after 1pm, I realized that I may never be able to roll with the derby girls, but I can definitely hang, at least for one night.