I wake up this morning, just like every other morning un able to move a single muscle in my body. I take advantage of the only muscles I am able to use, and stretch the muscles in my mouth, and blink my eyes a few times. My husband Scott, must be down stairs I think to myself, probably getting my feeding machine ready. I hear the door open, and my husband/care taker walks into my room. I am a T7 Incomplete quadriplegic with absouletley no muscle control below my paralysis line. I have complete sensation throughout my body, but I can not move any muscles other then the muscles on my face. I can’t talk right now, because that tight suctionining feeling in my throat otherwise knowing as my trach, prevents me from talking while I’m lying down. I’m wearing nothing but my wet depends overnight diaper, and the warm blanket covering my small, paralyzed body.

Scott walks over to my bed, and takes the blanket off of me. I feel his soft, gentle arms slide underneath my back, and slowly he sits me up. I try and say good morning, but it sounds nothing like it, but some how he must have understood it, because he said good morning back. He says to me soflty to not talk for a few minutes, because he’s going to clean my trach. He wraps his arms around my chest, and gently slides me back against the soft pillows stacked against my head board.

`He brings my respirator over, and places it gently over top of my face,and straps it around the back of my head. I open my mouth, and then I feel the suctioning growing stronger as scott turns on the machine.

I feel a tugging sensation in my throat, as scott pulls the cap out of my trach. I feel this soft, snake like tube slowly go into my throat. I almost always expect a gag reflex to happen in my throat every time he cleans my trach, but I lost the reflexes in my throat two years ago when I had my accident. He pulls the snake like thing out of my throat slowly, once the tube was finnaly out, I feel a gurguling sensation in my throat. Scott puts the cap back into my trach, and I feel the suction growing stronger in my throat. Scott tells me to close my mouth, and instantly I can start breathing out of my nose again. He takes the mask off of my mouth, and I notice I can breath much easier now.