My wife has been under attack from static electricity.  During the last few days it became so bad that she was considering wearing gloves twenty four hours a day.  She has been shocked when touching door handles, the fire compendium, her clothes and when patting the black and white collie we have been minding for a few days.

I remembered one tip to stop the static charge, keeping a key with you to tip off any metal you intend to touch but carrying a key around in your hand all day is a bit of a nuisance.

Static is mostly caused by materials rubbing against each other.  It becomes a problem in dry wintry conditions which is exactly what we have had since before Christmas.  Being the kind, gentle, caring husband I am, I consoled her every time she suffered a shock and offered to hug her provided she wore a rubber suit – oddly enough when she smacks me on the back of the head – she does not get a shock.

The remedies are of course plentiful and easily accessible by way of the internet, here are a few;

Shocks are most painful at the tips of the fingers, so rather than chop them off, try using the palm of the hand to turn a door nob.

A key as noted already, will help to discharge the static build up.  A metal thimble worn on a finger does the same job and you can use the excuse of being on a major knitting drive should anyone call.

Use plenty of moisturiser on your hands, this will reduce or eliminate the static charge, especially if you have received a shock when using your computer.  Moisturising has the added advantage of always being prepared to offer your partner a body massage.

Walking over synthetic carpets in rubber soles builds up static.  It is cheaper to wear leather soles than to have to get shut of the carpet.  Going barefoot does not really work and has been known to cause a lingering aroma which may affront the nostrils of the sensitive.  If the carpet is really expensive, lock the room until summer.

Static in clothes can shock.  At night it is possible to see the static discharge spark as you undress, provided you eyes have not wandered to someone else undressing.  This type of shock is usually the easiest to cope with as it is the least severe.  

Using a humidifier can help in reducing the amount of shocks received but if you have a humidifier, place a bowl of water near but not on any heaters you have in use.

If you wish to keep rubbing or petting an animal, wipe them down with an anti static sheet first, this however can be quite awkward if you happen to have pet lions. 

The car is a prime area for shocks.  Use the car key to touch the door before getting in but do not use the newer computerised ones, they could be damaged.  

You can also place your palm against the glass of the car window before entering or exiting.  If caught by your neighbours in this position tell them you were just reliving the scene from Titanic.  Make out that modesty prevented you from informing them earlier, that you were the stunt double for Leonardo De Caprio or Kate Winslet as appropriate.

Cover via Amazon

Finally drink plenty of water, it is good for you health as well as reducing static.

I must let my wife know all about this in a week or two.