N.Y.P.D. Strange Encounters

Being a Police Officer for over twenty three years in the great city of New York, I observed many different incidents in that time. One thing for certain, the job was never boring. Almost every day a different set of circumstance would greet you, encounters only another P.O. would believe. Plenty of good times and many a sad time, times that can try a man’s soul and times that helped heal the soul. All in all, I loved being a “cop” and although I have been retired for over thirteen years I still miss many (not all!) aspects of “the job.” Funny and strange interactions with the public were as natural as day follows night. Each and every morning when I would head off to work, I would silently say to myself Roy, you are now entering the twilight zone, as the ignition key turned. That was my mind set throughout my daily tour, and when leaving work I also thankfully thought, Roy you are now leaving the twilight zone. I worked primarily in the south Bronx where the neighborhoods differed sometimes from street to street. There are many ethnic groups of people living around and near one another and being a P.O.; it behooved that officer to be cognizant of that fact. When interacting with folks of other cultures I learned that there are very few individuals with the name Tom, Dick, or Harry. A few names that I shall never forget over the years in working these neighborhoods were: Festus Notoes, Cleotis Golitely, and Rufus Swampfox just to name a few. Each and every time I would double and triple check to verify the information given. Many times a story would accompany why such a name was given to that person. One time while assisting a young Hispanic lady who was injured slightly falling down, the name given to me was Femal’e Ortiz. As I was entering this information on the required paper work, I said to this lady that I have never met any one with the name Femal’e before. It turns out that when she was born the attending nurse who was filling out the form for the birth certificate, inquired to what the baby’s name would be. Her mom spoke very little English and really did not understand the question so she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. The nurse then entered on the form: Baby Girl, Female. Her mother thought the hospital named the new baby and so this brand new baby passes through life with her name; Femal’e Ortiz. True story! For many years I worked as a plain clothes officer, my job was to make collars (arrests) and at times to issue a summons for infractions. To keep things from being to mundane, my partner and I developed a few questions before issuing the summons. If they did not want to answer those questions it was fine with us, but most was enthusiastic in displaying their knowledge. One said question was: Who is buried in Grants tomb? The reply’s varied, Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, and George Washington, to my personal favorite THE TUT DUDE!!! Please name five states was another of the questions, the answer given by one of two friends apprehended for an offense was delivered most assuredly. The Bronx, Philadelphia, Queens, Chicago and…Mexico! To make this better, his buddy was so impressed he slapped a high five on this genius with the exclamation God Damn! It continues, a lady who stated her occupation as an LPN when asked the color of George Washington’s WHITE HORSE, she slowly shook her hear from side to side and declared “I don’t know anything about no horse, the only time I seen him, he was in a boat.” Only another P.O. would believe this. You might be surprised of the excuses given why people who were apprehended for evading payment of fare in N.Y.C. subway systems. One such young man said the line to buy tokens was too long and he was late for class at a city college. Asked if he was a recidivist (repeat offender) the academic Einstein declared that he was not, he was a Sagittarius instead. A crowd of people were gathered around an elderly woman who had dropped to the ground and was having an apparent Grand Mal seizure, my partner at the time Rich was directing the crowd to move on back, was met by a well intentioned pedestrian who claimed to have knowledge of “the affliction.” After taking a minute to see this unfortunate lady, our Dr. Kildare stated his prognosis,” just as I thought, she’s having a EUCALIPTIC FIT! ) Just because a Police Officer is entitled to a lunch period, doesn’t mean that he actually gets one. Case in point, my partner Kenny and I are parked near Fordham Road in the Bronx for lunch. We decided to park on a quiet side street eat our sandwich and monitor the radio as well. In a flash this large bright pink Cadillac blows right past the two of us with complete disregard for both a marked Police vehicle and the STOP sign visibly seen at the corner. Lunch is now but a fleeting thought as Kenny peeled out and I hit the siren and lights on our vehicle. Surprisingly the caddy dutifully pulled over to the curb and shut the ignition off. Approaching this Indy 500 wanna be driver, we observed a very large African American behind the wheel. This fella was cooperative and respectful to the two of us; he also was apologetic and offered no excuse for the driving infraction. The only little problem we encountered was the driver’s license when presented. The name on the license was Pedro Santiago, accompanied with a photo of a bald thin Hispanic gentleman.  Quizzed to as why this gentleman had the license of another individual in his possession the answer was very simple. We were told that just the other day a fender occurred between himself and Mr. Santiago, when a Police car responded to the accident both parties were asked if anyone was hurt or needed medical attention. Neither driver required any aid, the Officer then directed the two individuals to EXCHANGE LICENCES, they did as they were told!    Once again, only another Police Officer would believe this!