My seventh grade teach once told me, “Don’t stare too long at a closed door, or you won’t see the ones that have opened.”  In other words, don’t let one lost opportunity prevent you from seeing all of your other options. I didn’t know at the time the impact these simple words would have on my life and that – if you want to – you can always find the good in any situation.  Everyone experiences certain events in their lives that make them who they are and everyone learns from their own mistakes as well as the mistakes of others. There is something to gain with every loss and with every end there is a new beginning. However, new beginnings are not always immediate or easy.

When I was six years old my dad left. He packed his belongings, said bye to his eight kids, and walked out the door. I was only six at the time, so maybe I didn’t feel the impact of my dad leaving as directly as my siblings did – but I did feel it. I felt it when I asked my mom when daddy was coming home and she turned away with tears in her eyes. I felt it when I saw my brothers cry or heard my sisters sobbing in our shared bedroom late at night. And maybe I still feel it today when I wonder why I wasn’t good enough to grow up with a dad or when I think of my fast approaching graduation or wedding day. Everything from the physical act of my father leaving to the emotional state of those left behind changed my life as well as the lives of my family members, but the change wasn’t all immediate and it wasn’t easy.

From the moment my dad walked out the door – suitcase in hand – to the moment my family accepted that we were a family with or without my father, there were stages or steps to starting over. All the pain, frustration, and confusion were steps to a new beginning. All the long nights spent wondering how any man could leave my mom to struggle as the single parent of 8 kids were nights spent working towards patching the man-sized hole torn unexpectedly into my life. Each confusing and difficult event from the moment my dad left to the moment I accepted it were not setbacks but rather steps forward, because no matter how little, how slow, or how painful the step was, I was still moving forward and still going somewhere.