Ok. So I missed the door-bark thing. At least I put it by the door! So very picky these humans, and bossy! You’d think her head was gonna burst like those wind grapes.

Don’t you look at me like that. Just pick up the mess and let’s get on with the day. Man, such outrage. Hey. A little rough there, aren’t you? Who said I wanted to go outside? Who? Hey! Don’t you slam the door in my face! Gosh, what is the matter with her this morning? What about all that love and peace and save the pound dog talk. Pound dog here. I’m not feeling warm and fuzzy! I might need some encouragement or some Dr. Phil!

Ah. That’s better. You’ve come to your senses now, right? Right? Where we going? Good. Back inside. I could have walked, but if you want to carry me that’s ok. Why didn’t you pick up my icky pile yet? I know I did it and it angers you. I forgot the scratch-bark thing. Remember, pound dog? I’m new at this? Don’t grab my neck like that! Hey, too close there, buddy. Way too close to the poo! Ewww! Are you serious? Are you happy now? Well! What do you have to wipe my nose off with, huh?

If I fake to the left and run to the right! Ahh, the “couch-wipe”! Perfect!