Nolight: A Vampire Novel.  

*Bella moves from Arizona because she just loves her mom sooo much so doesn’t want to stay there and be happy or anything.  She’s going to send herself off to rainy Oregon so people will feel bad for her.  This actually shows a surprising amount of foresight.  For Bella.*

Bellaz: *ZOMG hawt rich man!  Why does he give me evil glares?  He even hits on the office ladies!* *sob* 

Mike: Darling I lurrrve you!  You are just the kind of perfect brainless outsider I was looking for!  I shall now follow you around like a puppy dog while you continue to use me and try to pass me off to your new friend.

Bella: Okeydoke.  I hate all peeps from Forks anyways.  Except for the rich hot vampire ones.  *Sigh.*

Steamy vamp:  Heyyyyy Bellaz, guess what??  

Bellaz:  I can’t think.  Remember?

Steamy Vamp: Oh.  Yeah.  Well, anyhoo, I just wanted to tell you I don’t hate you anymore.  

Bellaz:  You love me?  YOU LOVE ME?  WHAT a co-weenky-dink!  I lurvvvveeesss you too!  *Stares.*  Does I have static electricity, or are you full of hot vampire energy?

Steamy Vamp: Errmm…I can has hot vampire energy.  I don’t love you.  I want to eat you.

Bellaz: Really?  *trips over own feet.*  I lurrveeeessss you, Oh Sparkly God! 

Steamy Vamp: *Maybe I should go along with this.  Like a tasty snack that follows me wherever I go!  I think I like this.*  Aloud: I’m, like, really dangerous, Bellz.  Like, you should stay away from me *pumps out vampire charmz* stay awayyy….

Bellaz: Your hawtness and mysteriousnes only makes me want to make out with you!

Steamy Vamp: Let’s go meet my family.

Bella: I lurveeees you, Steamy Vamp!!  Is your family going to eat me?

Steamy Vamp: Er…

Bellaz: Awww, NVM.  I don’t really care.  I LURRRVVVEEESSSS YOU, steamy-dreamy loveboat-god!

Later

Alice: *good for omnomming?*  Hi!  You smell like dinner!

Bellaz: Thankz so much!  I wore my favorite perfume.   

Steamy Vamp:  Er…Let’s go see my room *wink wink*