UNNATURAL SEX

One of the fallouts of exposure to pornography is the increasing demand of ‘anal sex’ by husbands. Medical science regards anal sex (sodomy) as ‘high-risk behavior’; basically, the anus is not designed for penetration by any hard object. The anal sphincter tightens ordinarily if stimulated, and attempts at penile insertion may be distressing even if done slowly and gently. If the penis is forced into the anus, injury is possible. The lining (mucus membrane) of the rectum is very thin, tears easily, does not heal very fast and therefore, it is vulnerable to infections. Also, the tears can enlarge to a fissure or a crack leading to the outside of your body. These are painful and slow to heal. There is a possibility that a fistula could open up, allowing faeces to reroute into the abdominal cavity or into the vagina, which may cause serious trouble. Anal sex can also be a source of discomfort in both, a physical and emotional sense. Moreover as per Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (1860), ‘anal sex’ is a punishable offence, even when it takes place between husband and wife with mutual consent.

WHEN SELF-PLEASURE WOUNDS

Some men discover that they can enhance their arousal and orgasmic pleasure experience by blocking their oxygen supply via suffocation or strangulation. Inducing cerebral anoxia, a deficiency of oxygen in the brain, through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating to orgasm is known as ‘auto-erotic asphyxiophilia’. Usually, engaged in by adolescent boys, it almost always remains a secret until they die accidentally. The hindrance of blood supply to the brain achieved by auto-erotic asphyxiation can heighten sensations. That is because the lack of oxygen and blood flow can induce Iightheadedness, stupor, giddiness and exhilaration. It is also possible that the self­-endangerment and helplessness that is inbuilt in this method augments the person’s sexual gratification. Naturally, this same self-endangerment that may provide an excitement to the person indulging in auto-erotic asphyxiation also dulls and dampens one’s judgment and self-control, often resulting in accidental death.

PLEASURE FROM PAIN

Sadism, masochism and sado-masochism are reported in the oldest literature on sex. Sadists experience sexual pleasure and arousal from inflicting pain on others. The counterpart to the sadist is the masochist. A masochist experiences sexual pleasure and arousal from receiving pain. Often, this activity occurs with a willing partner. Sado-masochism (S & M) in its less extreme forms is fairly common. Bondage and Discipline (B & D) is a type of S & M where one partner ties or restrains the other and pretends to ‘punish’ or discipline the person who is in bondage. What starts just as a variant or a fun activity, is prone to turn ugly and violent and can cause serious injury. While psychotherapy helps, much depends on the expertise of the therapist and the willingness of the patient to make a change towards healthier sexual attitude and behaviour.

Sexual relationships should never be compelling, exploitative or lead to physical or psychological harm and should be based on mutual respect. Moreover, since all sexual decisions have ‘effects’ and ‘conse­quences’, sexual behavior must be ‘responsible’ and ’self-disciplined’ and therefore, one should refrain from emulating pornography, which offers a distorted view of human sexuality. So, remember to nurture your sexual relationship in a sensitive and mutually fulfilling way, which means always pleasure and never pain.