A humorous and satirical take on the battle of the sexes.

Later, she swore that it wasn’t the beatings she took that was most horrible, it was the look on the faces of the men that was more horrible. They had this look of genuine innocence as if nothing had happened at all. She thought they had been taken over by some demon or evil spirits.

But from that day, these demons and evil spirits took over men regularly and invariably when it was dark. Cases of assaults, molestations, and abusing were reported from all parts of the city and over a few days these reporting poured from all over the country. Groups with fancy names like ‘Army of Adam’ , ‘Warriors of the lost manhood’, ‘Jack the Ripper’s Army’ and ‘Knights of Mankind’ wrote letters in blood claiming responsibility to incidents of kicking, punching and hair tearing that took place in the dark alleys of the city. The whole foundation of womankind began shaking in fear. Men were striking back with vengeance. In over a few months, every single woman had been assaulted at least once. Every precaution they took was useless. Road lights were found smashed, electricity generators rendered useless, the power corporation office vandalized – men did everything they could to keep light away. Newspaper headlines screamed ‘Man-in-the-dark spits tobacco juice on the general secretary of World Women Council’, ‘Iron Lady Anna Hellgber kicked by a bushman yesterday night’, ‘Village women complain of mysterious molesters lurking in the night’ and so on. The alarm bells started ringing when the President of United Women Council, Mrs Margaret Twister’s hair was shaved off and her face painted black by a group of men calling themselves ‘Makeup men’ when she was taking her evening walk. Promptly after this ghastly incident, the World Women Council passed a resolution offering truce. The resolution had a single point plan – women would not assault any man physically or abuse him without sufficient reason that he deserved it and the same would apply to men too. The resolution was ratified by all the invisible men’s groups through unsigned letters.

After this, some sort of peace and order was restored. Life became less unbearable for men. Women, although they still feared to go out in the night, could still feel relative peace because the majority of the groups has called ceasefire. Whatever remained were the solitary kickers and spitters who wanted to make sure women didn’t fell back to their old habits.

The anonymous warriors of manhood chose to remain anonymous knowing well that as long as they remained so, they would be known as the saviors of manhood, the brave warriors, and what not but if they be discovered, the whole world would spit on them and they would certainly die of shame. Strange are the ways of men and stranger are their concepts of manhood.

To this day, women fear the dark and you will hardly find any woman out on the roads in the night. For in the dark lurks the ancient warriors of manhood, faithfully following what ‘The Savior’ had asked them to do ages ago – to pounce upon women.

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