Old Farmer Hank love his job as a farmer, but his real ambition was to be a NASCAR race car driver. The problem was his wife, Big Mama Edna, hated cars and only rode in a horse and buggy. She thought it set a bad example for their four children, Elmer, Elvira, Earl, and Edna Jr. If Big Mama Edna caught Hank out racing, she would grab him by the strap of the overalls and drag him back to their Myrtle Country farm. Farmer Hand was very depressed that he couldn’t race, so, while feeding and riding his hog, he found a solution to his problem.

  Big Mama Edna was a very heavy sleeper so Hank decided to sneak out at night and race. First, he needed a race car so he decided to pimp out his tractor, the only vehicle Big Mama Edna would allow him to drive. He started off by adding rocket boosters to his tractor. Then, he painted flames on the side of his tractor along with a cracked skull on the front. Finally, he needed a helmet, to set a good example for his buck-toothed kids. He grabbed his farmer hat and duck taped it to his hard hat. He was ready to race!!! He entered his tractor in the street race and snuck out at night, ready to roll!!

  Hank started up his tractor and flew off the country roads. When he got to the race, he showed those youngin’s how a real farmer races. Hank beat those kids harder than a acne-covered bully beats up a nerd for his lunch money. After he won the race, NASCAR owner, Reginald Rumpskin, signed him and his tractor to the big man races. Hank won every race and became a fan favorite. Big Mama Edna found out, but she was so consume with the fame and glory that she didn’t care if he raced or not. She bought herself a big dress that had to be handmade by professionals. She now uses a limo to grab and drag Hank’s bony butt back to their brand spankin’ new $24 million farm house. They lived happily ever after with their four tractor-racing kids.