Isabel grew up under the misapprehension that everyone else in the world may not like you but at least your family loved you.  Her family may love her but an odd thing happened when they got together- or perhaps it is just she.  The novelty of seeing her after months of being apart, rapidly fades and she became part of the furniture.  Furniture doesn’t speak and it certainly doesn’t move on it’s own.  She would ask a question and it usually took asking that question 3 or 4 times before she got an answer and she may not get one at all.  She was a non-person.

She admits she may have unknowingly contributed to the creation of her ottoman persona but it had to be from a youthful fear of her older brother and sister.  She often wondered why they asked her over for a visit when her opinions or feelings seemed of no consequence.  If she was feeling particularly vulnerable she would have to be very careful or else they smelled the fear on her and went in for the kill.  As she aged, Isabel became more aware of this possibility and accordingly prepared herself for battle.  But she was overly sensitive and not always battle ready.  Constantly walking on eggshells or waiting for guns to go off was exhausting.

The funny thing was that she liked her brother and sister.  They were very different but she could appreciate their personalities and rarely ignored them.  They were impossible to ignore.  They were larger than life.  Their anger and sadness was larger than life.   Their generosity (with others) knew no bounds. Their humor and insight greater than most, and of course their intellects combined with all these elements were wonderful. 

Isabel wanted to know if this was a normal family dynamic?  Is there always gossip behind ones backs but acceptance in person? She knew other families that actually hated each other and didn’t speak at all and she was grateful that they were not one of them, although, at times they had come close. Ultimately they recognized they were victims of the same war.

Isabel got the distinct feeling that after a few days stay, she was recognized as the footstool that did not fit in with the décor and must go.  This of course meant they would never be as close as she thought they were supposed to be. It was all about approval.  She was on consignment for approval.