I now have a better appreciation why the big talent have agents. Negotiating the terms of your own level of anonymity is mind bending at best. The conversation goes something like this.

 Me: “I don’t see how my posting these stories to my website has anything to do with a conflict of first electronic publishing rights.”

Him: “Well, clearly these pieces have been previously published before you submitted them to us, thereby breeching the exclusive rights agreement spelled out in our submission process page.”

Me: “I posted them to my website, that’s all.”

Him: “Is your website on the internet?”

Me: “Yes, but…”

Him: “Then they are electronically published before you submitted them to us.”

Me: “Ok, look, my ‘website’ gets all of maybe 10 page views a day, usually the view rate is 1-3. I know one of those views is my mother, the other is very possibly my ex-wife keeping track of my attachable income and I have absolutely no idea who the third viewer might be. Conceivably either a secret admirer or an illiterate serial killer. So I can’t possibly stretch my imagination far enough to consider these stories as ‘previously published’ works.”

Him: “Never the less, we can’t accept them as exclusive property, so I’m afraid our publisher/writer relationship is compromised and terminated.”

Me: “Like whatever dude, I’ll just pitch them to Fox Network.”

Him: “Wait a minute, Fox Network showed an interest in these properties?”

Me: “Properties? A moment ago they were pieces in breech-”

Him “Well, we can’t be hasty, I’ll submit your writing treatments for a second review.”

Me: “What about the per view pay rate?”

Him: “Oh, well we’ll be glad to offer premium, upfront payment status on these and future properties you submit.”

Me: “Niiiiice.”