I didn’t really ask for it to begin. I didn’t even ask for to start either. It just happened. Whether it was planned or not. I  was created. Born into this plant. From my mom or God. I guess it kinda depends  in what you believe in. I went through my life. Well, actually I started on my path. I wanted to go somewhere. I was stuck in a lot of places though and for most of my childhood I lived as this girl who wasn’t really someone she wanted to be. Their are times I wanted to blame my parents. There are days I still do. Problem is, they didn’t determine the person I became. I did. They did have an influence though. I hate when people ( usually older wiser adults who think they know it all )say something like” oh your going to turn out just like your parents”. I just way to say, I don’t think I’ll be that girl. I don’t want too.  Actually, I wont. I am going to stay strong with who  I am and that’s who I am going to be.

I guess here’s some things you should now about me because they are part of girl I am am and have had an influence on me:

1) My dad. He’s abusive. Physically and Emotionally. Yea, it sucks. I try to give all of my emotions to God though. I keep praying one day he get to my dads heart and change him. Help him realize that this isn’t how he should treat people. Now, I am just trying to get though  it all one day at a time with God by my side. I know. In the end. Everything will be okay.

2) I am a C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n.  A,Christian. I have a relationship with God. We talk everyday. He shows me things. Answers to the things that I talk to him about. I know many people call it prayer. I have LOTS of favorite bible verses. I want to live my life according to the bible. I do think its the manual for how a persons life should be. Its hard, I think because a lot of people don’t understand their bibles and Miss-interrupt things. That’s where the problem is. I know especially if your a new christian. It can be hard. You get a bible from a pastor. You decide  you wanted something to do with whoever you think God is. The pastor says its Gods word and inside is everything you need to know about him. You open the book and your confused. You decide its not worth it to be a christian. You let your relationship with God drift. You don’t know how to understand him. Trust me, I have been there. A million, bazillion times. Okay and here’s another situation. You go on a youth retreat  or a mission trip and everyone  is talking about the words they thought they heard God speak  to them. Problem is, your mind blank, or you don’t think you have the kind of relationship with God that everybody else in your youth group or team does. Here’s, what I think. Number one, we have to be open to Gods voice. Sometimes he even speaks in the silence   Number two.  Somedays we may need time to figure out Gods voice.