Penny’s Grand Adventure

By Peggy Toolen

            Where am I, she wondered as she gazed up at huge towering pine trees.

 She slowly sat up as her head spun. Not far from where she was sitting was a big pile of huge catfish, a camp fire and a frying pan. “Where on earth am I,” she asked a humongous, gecko with glimmering green scales,  sitting on a nearby rock. Just then an enormous caveman looking hillbilly with a green plaid shirt and buckteeth appeared. “Who yew talkin’ to?” he asked in a deep voice with a rich, backwoods, Tennessee drawl. Startled by his approach and appearance, she gasped and stuttered, “Uh… uh… nobody I guess.”

“Who are you and where am I? She asked.

“I’m Buck,” the hillbilly said, “and yer in Pine Valley Forest.” Just then a gigantic bird flew overhead and squawked loudly. “Are you planning to eat that mountain of catfish yourself?” she asked. Buck let out a hearty laugh, “Heck no! That’s gonna be dinner for our guests.” “What guests,” she asked looking around. “Ar Weddin’, guests,” he explained. “Don’t yew ‘member? Yew said yew’d marry me.” “No way, I don’t even know you! Why would I marry you?” “Yew know me! I’m Buck… Buck Tooth.” he exclaimed.  She looked down at herself and realized she was wearing a wedding gown.  Oh my God! I am getting married to marry this gigantic, ugly, disgusting hillbilly, she thought.

“What’s my name?” She asked. “Yew don’t know yer own name?”

“I must have bumped my head or something; I can’t seem to remember anything.”

“Yer name is Penny. “ Yew bumped yer head when yew was swingin’ on that tire swing yesterday.  The strap broke and yew fell and hit yer head on that bench.” He said pointing to an area near the river.“Yew went to sleep and just now woked up. I was afraid yew weren’t gonna wake up in time fer ar weddin’.”