People suck. Yup. They do. There is something that reduces our ability for compassion for our fellow human when immediacy occurs within a stressful situation. We become less concerned with those that fall within our immediate sphere than those without. In stressful times those we are confronted with that we do not know, somehow, allows for a lessening of civility. Sadly events like the holidays and vacations bring this mentality to the forefront.

It is easy to allow the more negative aspects of ourselves to show to a stranger. We’ve all got issues behind the mask we present and when that damn barista seems less than interested in getting us that drink we just ordered, and there are 75 other things that I could be spending my time on than waiting in this freakin’ line, it’s easy to let slip. Easier still when we have no tie to the stranger in front of us. We spend enough energy presenting ourselves in a particular way to those we interact with, should we honestly be expected to maintain that with strangers? Simple answer…absofuckinlutely, yet, in the words of David Bowie, it ain’t easy.

Life isn’t an easy thing. We control less and less of our actual lives as time slips by, and the items that we do not control seemingly become more and more important. Yeah, I’m late with my insurance payment but cut me some slack here, I tossed the bill aside, and then had to pay the damn mortgage, how could you cancel me? Yeah I didn’t pay ya, but it’s right before Christmas, you seriously wanna ruin Christmas?

It’s easy to let fly at someone you don’t see. The phone currently affords us the opportunity to maintain control of a conversation on our terms, particularly to those we do not know. After all you can simply hang up and end the conversation, the sad sap on the other end of the phone is required to take your abuse and is not afforded the same opportunity. It’s one sided and powerful; and man, don’t we love to feel powerful.

The same applies to the person behind the desk, counter, or register. You don’t know them and if they don’t give you want your irrational demanding of their superior will. That knowledge is also power. Yet how well did you listen? How well did you absorb the information provided to you before you let that part of you that needs to be gratified crawl to the surface and take control of your actions? At heart you’re a good person, you’d help a stranger if they asked right? So why let fly now?

Case in point. This little morality play takes place a few years back,

About a week before Christmas, I take a quick run to the grocery store to purchase a salad for lunch. As often happens when you’re in a large public area for a spell, you tend to notice the same people over and over. Your sphere’s interact repeatedly. Such was the case this rather blustery day. A mother, her two children and I kept rounding the same corner or walking down the same isle. By the time I reached the checkout she and her two children were a few isles over paying for their groceries.