I am sorry that I couldn’t come in to work yesterday, but some events arose that necessitated the use of one of my Personal Days. Late last night I received a call from an old friend who had a little too much to drink at the bar. He needed a ride home, and even though it was late, I didn’t want him to get a ticket or cause an accident. When I got to the bar, he was nowhere to be seen, so I ask a young lady at the bar if she had seen him. The girl was totally hot. She was about five-nine, a buck fifty, with significant rackage. Her brilliant blue eyes glittered through her long tresses of strawberry-blonde hair. She was wearing a red low cut blouse, a black leather miniskirt, and large gold hoop earrings.

She had bright red finger nails, and her open toed high heel shoes highlighted her matching pedicure. She spoke through full glossy lips, and had a light southern drawl.

  She said that she hadn’t seen my friend, but she would be happy to have a drink with me. I knew that it was late, but I figured that one drink couldn’t hurt, and maybe I would leave with her number. I bought one round, then another…and another. We talked for hours, and it wasn’t all soap opera crap, either. She was really up on current events and pop culture. She knew all kinds of scientific trivia, and was very liberal in her political views and belief systems. We liked the same bands, the same movies, even the same books, and I wondered why we hadn’t met sooner.

  As the night went on, we decided to go out for coffee, but ended up at my place. I was a little embarrassed by the unkempt condition of my house, but my guest didn’t seem to mind. She was all over me as soon as we got there. I knew it was late, but I thought maybe if I can just get a few hours of sleep I will make it in on time. I told her that she would have to leave in the morning, when I left for work, and she didn’t seem to care.

  As soon as we got to the bedroom she practically raped me. I knew that I had hit the jackpot. This girl was a real freak! She was into everything. She wanted me to smack her around…and at first it was just too weird, but after I saw how much she enjoyed it, it seemed alright. Her body was awesome, and she knew how to use it.

  I think that she may have been in to yoga, or something, because she was limber as a Chinese acrobat. Even her tan was flawless, and she had this really cool tramp-stamp. Her eyes looked so sexy in the moonlight. Her features were perfect. Nothing was out of place.

She knew every position, and she liked to be tied up. She talked dirty, and she liked to be controlled. She wanted me to do things that I had never done to a woman. She did things to me that no other woman has done to me. She was totally turned on, and eager to please. It was the most awesome sexual experience I have ever had! She crawled around on her hands and knees. She had a tongue like a cat’s . She was licking and sucking and….

  …and then she reached over to the nightstand…

  …She reached into her purse…

  …for something…something in a crackling clear plastic package. I thought that it might be a condom, cigarettes, or ….the anticipation was driving me crazy…

  …Then she ripped open the package and put the contents in her mouth. You won’t believe what it was. I still have trouble believing what I saw. It was licorice….black licorice. Wait, I know exactly what you’re thinking. What kind of sick bitch eats black licorice? I mean, she stuck it in her mouth. You have to be a real twisted freak to stick black licorice in your mouth. I called her a filthy whore, and an argument ensued.

  Well, as you can guess, things got a little out of hand. The place was trashed and I had to pick up the mess, hose off the shovel, and clean out my car. So, that’s why I had to use a Personal Day.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVCv7IzmHc&feature=related