Potatoes are a species of food and are also known as vegetables and not fruit. they are not fruit because they do not grow from trees, but they grow under potato plants under the ground and they are actually lumps of the potato root and they have bits of other root under it. Foods and things like these are called root plants or something like that and I will not check because I heard it from my science teacher and I think this is what he said and I am too tired to go on wikipedia or something like that to check on it so you will have to rust me with this. Besides, it’s 2:45 where I live right now so I am not going to bother doing much and I will probably continue on tomorrow.
ANYWAY, potatoes are also things people eat and they often taste very good. A piece of advice to all fellow potato-eaters is that you shouldn’t eat potatoes with many funny holes in them or ones that smell REALLY bad, worse than they usually smell then you don’t wash them and try to sniff them which most of you humans may not do because humans do not take things and sniff them for no particular reason, especially when the’e just been plucked out of dirt full of dirty things such as insects and things like that which might be inside of it and they might crawl into your nostrils if you sniff funny potatoes that have many holes in them. Potatoes are mostly eaten after they are cooked because if they aren’t cooked, you have a high risk of catching diseases from them which you cannot get from cooked potatoes because they are heated at a high temperature so then the bacteria and microbes and things will die, but even though you may cook potatoes, worms that crawled inside may still be in there, but they are safe to eat because they have been boiled which kills all the bacteria inside them which makes them sterilised but then they might not taste very good, but I don’t really know because I’ve never eaten a worm before and people who have eaten worms before may disagree because worms may actually taste very good, but I do not try because if I go around looking for worms and eating them, people around me may start disliking me and my Rep level with them may drop because they think I am creepy and weird and that I may do things as bad as that to them so they get scared of me and they will stop letting me borrow things from them like rulers and pencils from them because I keep forgetting things like that because I may not be very organised.
Potatoes are often eaten with the skin peeled because many people don’t like the taste of the skin and people tend to throw the skin away to the rubbish bin where the rubbish will be transferred into a bag where it will be brought to a pit where they throw things and potato skins into and things that may decompose and turn into soil which can be sold to people and they can sell the soil or grow things with the soil, like potatoes, so the circle of life will be fulfilled, where things that die or get blown up always return to the start and those things will die or get blown up again, like potatoes. Potatoes that are eaten with the skin are very rare and are often mistaken with being cooked with the skin, like jacket potatoes which you bake and then you peel the skin off and eat. Potatoes are very famous in the world of Mcdonalds and other fast-food chains such as Mcdonalds or KFC or Burger King because they are an ingredient in the ever popular dish, called French fries. French fries are like steaks, where the potato is the cow and it gets cut up, like meat does, only on a smaller scale. French fries are a main fraction of a usual combo meal in these fast food chains because the fast food chains often can’t think of things to add with the drinks and burgers and fast food, so they decide to put in French fries. A reason why they don’t substitute something else for French fries is that French fries are often the least expensive thing in a fast food restaurant, not counting the free things like paper, the straws and the little seasoning packets like ketchup and chilli that people often ask for in loads and loads so that they can take them home and never have to buy ketchup and chilli ever again. 
Potatoes are pronounced differently by different people and it doesn’t have to be people of specific countries, people can call them whatever they want because there is freedom of speech and even when it’s in places with limited freedom of speech, people just say it anyway because noone really cares about how people say potato. People pronounce potato as Potarrto or potayyto, and this is often mention in little kid’s shows and I do not know why they do this. Perhaps it’s because they cannot think of much else to do, other than colours and shapes which make me think, how on earth do they come up will so many episodes? 
Anyway, my favourite kind of potato to eat are mashed potatoes because it is easy to eat and goes just great with HP sauce and looks comforting when eating steak, which is usually served with mashed potato. Mashed potato is whitish-yellow, which is the colour of the interior of a potato and basically, it’s just the interior of a potato grinded up and mashed and attacked with hammers so they turn into mush and mush. This just sprouted an idea into my head, if we keep smashing and smashing potatoes and they don’t die and disintegrate or de-spawn like they do in WOW, why don’t we genetically alter potatoes so they become sentient and aware of it’s surroundings, after they die from being plucked out of the ground, we can use them as a future defence force in case the aliens try and attack us, they will be invincible and we will be safe!