“Was it a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“What would you have wanted it to be?”

“A little boy. Not a boy but a girl.”

“Why?”

“Because boys can grow up and be free. Like my daddy is. He’s out there and doesn’t even know who I am.”

“My mama says that as long as I can take care of myself, I’ll be okay.”

I heard Billie’s voice fading away. The sun was going down outside. I prayed that her voice would not leave me. She turned on the radio. The Tigers won the World Series. Billie claps; I clap but I only for a minute.

At school the next day, Billie ignored me again—pretended like I did not exist. I guess I dreamed going over to her apartment. I guess I was an ink spot on the wall. All the other boys and girls were talking about the Tigers. I ate my orange cupcake but that didn’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes. Miss Earl, our teacher said 1984 was the best year ever. But the days were over too soon.

Soon I was a forgotten memory. Even Billie looked at me and her eyes only faintly hinted at the secrets between us. I let myself go off and play it safe with her. At lunch, she sneaks a peek-a-boo at me but I roll my eyes. But Billie stuck

her tongue out and laughed. I threw dirt her and stopped looking at me until a few weeks later.

She left a note at my locker. I smiled at her in the hallway but she cut it with the slit of her eyes: she hated me at school. It was like Momma sleeping til noon and then leaving at night. I called Grandma and told her I had to walk five miles home in the rain to come home and make supper but some woman told me that her phone wasn’t working right.

No one knew except me that Billie actually lived in this place. She told the others that she lived further than the bus went when we all got off the bus. Our friends headed toward the sun or clouds and me and her headed away from it. I think Miss Earl and some of the other teachers knew the truth that Billie lived in the same building as me and that we were the “bastard brats,” or that’s what that dumb ole Rudy Cooter who I called Rudy Cootie Poot. That’s cause he peed in his pants and he play with hisself and he shit in his pants one time and then smear it on the bathroom wall. Least that’s what Billie said.