I stepped forward and my toe bumped something. I looked down and I saw the bodies. I know that there is nothing on the floor, but I see them, just the same. It was a long time ago, and I was a child then.

   “Don’t worry, you will like it. I saw some curtains that will be perfect,” Jenny droned on, happy to see me submit to her will. I looked at the windows and I visualized the curtains, but they were torn and dirty. I did not know why they were in a state of disrepair, but I knew that it was all in my mind. It all happened such a long time ago.

   “You’ll see, the place will look so much better with a bit of color on the walls,” Jenny reiterated, guiding my eyes towards the walls. I followed her sightline to the walls, which were filled with color, as rambling crayon scribbles spiraled and danced in concert. I glanced, again at the bodies lying on the floor. It was all right, because I knew that they were not real….and, besides, it all happened a long, long time ago.

   “Did you clean up your room?”

   “What did you say,” I asked, startled.

   “I didn’t say anything. What’s wrong,” Jenny replied.

   “Oh, it’s nothing. I am just tired,” I lied, remembering that in the hustle I had failed to stop by the pharmacy to fill my prescription. I looked down at the floor and saw the clean, shiny, hardwood floor. I looked around and saw that the walls were clean and white, and the window frames were black with clean straight lines.

   “We can talk tomorrow, honey, let’s get you ready for bed,” Jenny suggested, affectionately. My head was pounding. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and some aspirin. As I reached past the kitchen implements, my eyes were drawn to the perfect symmetry of the stainless steel knives, cradled in their storage block. I had rarely used them, and I could not remember where or when I bought them, let alone why I made the purchase.

    Standing in the kitchen, we embraced. Jenny hit the light switch. In the dark, I could hear the ruckus of the city, muffled by concrete and leaded glass. I could feel the warmth of Jenny’s body pressed close to mine. I gained strength from the smooth, solid lines of the hardwood floor under my feet. The moonlight seemed to swell and fill the room, permeating the plain white walls, tinting Jenny’s pale skin blue. When I looked in her eyes, I saw love…and chaos.

   “You’ll see,” she said. “With a few pieces of furniture, and some color on the walls, this will make our apartment a perfect home,” Jenny said, then assured me with a kiss. I was mesmerized by the sight of her sparkling blue eyes, loving, tender, yet cold as blue steel in the moonlight.

   “Yes, I suppose you’re right,” I answered, enthralled by her charms.

   “Tom,” she beckoned.

    “Yes,” I responded.

   “What do you think about getting a cat,” Jenny cooed in her sweetest voice. Over her shoulder, I stared at the perfect symmetry of the smooth hardwood floor. I admired the plain white walls. I looked, deeply into Jenny’s cold steel eyes, set in her soft smooth face. I traced her aquiline features, and her perfectly proportioned body. As I remembered the sacrifices I made to secure stability and order in my life, I thought of the chaos and complication that I would face in my new life with Jenny. While there was a degree of excitement, I began to dread the loss of control. A future of children coloring the walls with crayon, and junk cluttering the area, while cats tore at the hardwood floors and furniture began to materialize. The thought was strangely thrilling. I knew that I needed something different to shake up things, to add color to my existence, but I was not sure what. I thought that Jenny would be the one to change things, to make a difference, but I was not sure how. In that moment, I knew that the dream that I had was the wrong dream. I knew that things would never work out between Jenny and me but she would play a part in changing my life forever. Holding her close, I find my hand inexplicably drawn to the clean lines of a kitchen knife.

   “I think that you were right. Maybe this place would look better, with a splash of red.”