I’m backkkkkk…..or you’re back or we’re back together….or…forget it!

So here we are again, back with my ramblings, if you’ve only just joined me then none of this makes any sense and you should stop lazy and go read the beginning of this story!

Anyway just waiting for my mom to go pay for petrol then onward with this answer seeking journey!

Oh shhhhh she’s coming back.

“Right honey, you ready to go?”

(I haven’t moved from the car when was I not ready?)

“Yeah Mom, all set!”

“Good, now remember…..

“I know, I know!” “Don’t give him any money!”

“Exactly and make sure you eat!”

“I will.”

“And if he has a drink then call me and I’ll pick you up!”

“I will.”

“Good, ok we’re here then.”

(Blimey that was quick, did anyone else find that quite quick?!….weird, like I had no idea how to fill that gap!)

“Okay mom, bye!”

“Wait, aren’t you going to give me a kiss?”

(Oh hell no!)

“Erm……no!” “Bye.”

For the love of god run!!

“Fine, I’m only your Mother!”

(I’m aware of her work)

Okay just hold on here while I do that waving goodbye for a long period of time thing she insists on….yes bye, that’s it honk the horn….and she’s gone!

Phew!

Not that I’m an ungrateful son because I’m not but I get this every time I come here. Here is my dad’s by the way; my mom thinks he’s a useless waster drunk, because well he’s a useless waster drunk to be honest.

Anyway all that alcohol could unlock his mind and give me an answer to my seemingly unanswerable question.

Let’s go in.

“Dad it’s me!”

“Helllllllloooo my boy!”

Yep drunk!

“Who are you talking to?

(Not that drunk though)

“Erm….you!”

“Oh, I thought so””So you ready for a fun packed weekend?”

(He smells like brewery, nice)

“Yeah of course, what we doing?”

“Well I thought, nip by the bookies first.”

How exciting (!)

“Yeah it is, I’ve got some inside information, dead set winner!”

(What he means is that some weird mate of his thinks he knows all about racing and has spouted some bull trying to look cool and drunky mcdrunk skunk over there thinks the info is golden!)

“Oh right dad, sounds good.”

“It is good, want a drink?”

“What you got?”

Let me take a stab.

Beer, beer, beer, whiskey, three day old milk, beer, a dribble of orange in the bottom of the carton and beer!

“Who are you talking to this time?”

(Let’s see how drunk he is)

“Them.”

“What?”

“I’m talking to them”

“Them who?”

“The other people listening to me.”

“Ohhh them!”

(Yep completely smashed, I gave him fair to much credit earlier)

Wait where’s he going? Oh goody back to the sofa, laying down muttering to himself (like I have any room to talk) eyes closing.

Here we go.

3, 2, 1

He’s passed out.

You know depending on whether or not he’s sober or in this case not, he’s not a bad guy and can be pretty smart so I think I’ll ask him about the meaning of life when he wakes up.

So I tell you what, you go and get a tea, coffee or go spend a penny while he sleeps this off and we’ll actually see if we can get some kind of sensible answer later.

Take your time, he’s sparked out!