Sad Movies a Oneshot

teriyaki18 on Nov 24, 2009

Tags: best friend, betrayal, boyfriend, heartbreak, how to deal, Lovesong

A oneshot heartbreaking love story.

[…Sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry…
He said he had to work so I went to the show alone
They turned down the lights and turned the projector on
And just as the news of the world started to begin
I saw my darlin' and my best friend walk in…]

“What’s the title of this song?” I asked Irene while waiting for the movie to start. But instead for replying her attention was on her mobile phone waiting for her boyfriend’s call. I must admit I dragged her to watch the Proposal with me at knife point.

“Sad Movies.”came her reply. “I think this is the only theatre playing old songs.”

I nodded, but in an instant my heart skipped a bit as I remembered my boyfriend Keith.

Keith Young was the name of my boyfriend. We’ve been a couple for almost a two years now. And I would be a hypocrite in denying the fact that my boyfriend gradually changed. No, it wasn’t the change that makes the girl’s heart flutter with excitement, but the opposite.

Bea, my other best friend scolded me by saying that I shouldn’t compare the Keith before and the present. Of course, it was just normal for a boyfriend to change…maybe I unconsciously did change, too.

Was I just being paranoid? Should I still understand him even though he doesn’t text me as much as he used to? Should I just let it go, when he forgotten my birthday last month? Should I just laugh it off when he tells me we shouldn’t celebrate our monthsaries? How about him walking out when we had misunderstandings instead of saying “sorry” when he’s at fault?

I shook my head and sighed. Maybe I was just paranoid, right? Just then my eyes caught a very familiar couple making their way just two seats in front of us.

{…Yesterday…}

“Honey, I don’t think I can accompany you tomorrow.”

I stopped writing and stared at Keith. “Why?”

“Because you know I hate chick flicks movies.”

“But there’s Ryan Reynolds, isn’t he your favorite actor?” I asked.

Keith raised his face and met his eyes with mine. “Yes he is, but still its a chick flick movie.”Then sighed continue writing, “anyway, I still can’t join you because my cousin will be coming tomorrow and I will be the one who will fetch her. Go, with Irene okay?” He looked at me and smiled.

Pages: 1 2 Next page

3
Liked it

I Like It

Comments (3)

Jaelliex3 on Nov 26, 2009
Hey there Unnie
your review is now ready to get picked up @
http://vst-x3-review.blogspot.com/2008/04/sad-movies-review.html
Please do tag when you recieve.
Eunice on Nov 27, 2009
I remember reading this before rite?
Anyway, i still like it ^^
teriyaki18 on Nov 27, 2009
One Shot Review

Author: Teriyaki18
Title: Sad Movies
Link: http://authspot.com/short-stories/sad-movies-a-oneshot/
Reviewer: Jaelliex3 @ VST {http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com}
Note: Although I am friends with the author, our personal relationship as friends will not get in the way of me reviewing her story based on honesty. When I review, friends or not I’m honest even if it hurts their feelings. I take my job as a reviewer very seriously.

Title: 5/5
This title was good for the story. But I reckon if this story was on winglin I don’t think it’ll be the first thing that would come up in the search engine.

Poster: 10/10
I loved the simplicity of the poster. The gaze of the girl outside the window connects with me the most. It was making me wonder what she was staring at and after reading your story I kind of related the scene she witness and her staring out the window together. These simple things are something that can really affect the way readers view your story.

Forewords: 10/10
I’m taking these as your forewords;

[…Sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry…
He said he had to work so I went to the show alone
They turned down the lights and turned the projector on
And just as the news of the world started to begin
I saw my darlin' and my best friend walk in…]

I gave you a full mark for this because for me it was right on the spot, yet you kept me wanting to read more. I asked myself “What is that jerk doing there?” so this was really something that caught my eye and allowed me to keep reading.

Plot: 5/15
I’ve heard of stories with the same plot as this. The boyfriend cheats on the main chick to be with the bestfriend. Sort of reminds me of a movie I watched “My Bestfriends Girlfriend” (LOL Richard Gutierrez), but yes for me it wasn’t so your own.

Creativity/Originality: 12/15
Although the plot was very common your creativity was put in good use. Like in the end instead of her confronting Bea, she ran home and lied to her mum. Instead of her telling Irene that she had been right about Keith all along was really nice. Mostly in the stories I’ve read with the same plot that’s what happens, the girl tells someone else about her pain. But with yours you should the strong side of her even though she’s already crying. Her closing lines were really good, it was suggesting that the sad movie was what she just witnessed and experience; the sad movie is her life.

Flow: 5/10
Everything happened so quick for me. I’m going to sound like a masochist but I wanted to feel more heartbreak. I wanted read more tears cried out, I mean with heartbreak like that a little lie to your mum is not going to cut it. Also each scene wasn’t long enough for me, the scene where the main girl exchanges word with her partner wasn’t long enough for me. I wanted to read more about their relationship altogether, not just the sad and hard part of it.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
This section is really good. I had no problems with it, the only thing I realised it when you want to curse you put a “.” somewhere there. Like “D.amn”, I think it’s either you use it or don’t use it at all. I mean if you want to curse just curse its part of us. (Hehe)

Characterization: 10/10
Each character was all introduced well. Well done ^^

Writing Style: 10/10
If I didn’t complain about your spelling, grammar and vocabulary it means I like your writing style. Your style of writing has its depth but yet again people are able to understand what you are trying to imply. I never got lost one bit in this story.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
Told you I wanted more heartbreak. But the story was good so don’t get me wrong.

Sub-Total: 70/100

Bonus: 5/5
I’m in love with the name Michael so I’m giving you a bonus for that.

Total: 75/105

Lower than you expected Unnie? If so, Miane. But I’m sure you have improved now, so if there’s anymore one-shot you want me to review just request away. I’ll be willing to take on any of your one-shots

Sad Movies a Oneshot

Hi there!

Find the Spot

Categories