Today Lucifer, The Bright One, was at his office in Simi Valley, CA. It was just the kind of place for him to call home. A real boulevard of washed up dreams, filled with people who had lost their souls to money, and feeling the disappointment and deadness deep inside, made do by convincing themselves that they were, in fact, living “the dream”, after all look at how much better off financially they were than most of the other peasants…..err valuable citizens of the country. The ugly cynicism inside was like a spent nuclear fuel rod, though buried half a mile down, it still managed to irradiate and contaminate everything around it. Indeed, they knew, in their subconscious that they were just as much slaves to the oligarchy as those Mexicans who worked at McDonald’s. They had abandoned their hopes and dreams to satisfy the demands of their corporate taskmasters, and now having achieved some modicum of success, were far too drained of energy, vision, and sympathy to really follow their hearts, take it to the next level, figure themselves out, or even too be truly happy. So they continued on, sipping Starbucks and playing golf, never making any difference in the world at all. Tomorrow, on Thursday, Satan, King of All That Is Unholy, would be materializing into his Detroit offices, and the day after, into Miami, city of drugs, cartels, booze, seedy New York lawyers, sleazy Manhattanite investment bankers, debauched trust fund babies, dying Jewish people, financial ruin, slashed manatees, Disney World, and Lebron James.

For now though, Natalia, an Italian milf with marriage and work crises, was seated outside the door that read Dr. Reficul, Psy.D, L.O.H., M.O.I. Customers frequently wondered what those credentials were, and Satan, Prince of Darkness, assured them that they were prestigious, obscure qualifications that required many years of study and commitment, something the locals were into, especially if it was to image, the rat race, or ego, less so for truth, love, and compassion. “You may come in now.”, he said, kindly peeking out the door. Natalia sighed happily in relief, she had been waiting for this all week. Unlike other psychologists, this man actually helped and understood. Plus, this sensitive, muscular, goateed, mustached Asian man who dressed like a crime boss from back home made her feel all tingly and warm in ways and places that jerk back at home most decidedly did not. Just put one of those colorful Chinese robes on him, and he would be the very picture of wise Confucious. “Ah dottore, you are just the prescription I needed. I don’t even know how I could get through the week without you. My husband is worsening. I caught him last weekend doing lines and unmentionable things with the 16 year old baby sitter! And he seemed proud of it too. I was attracted to his rough riding, independent, and exotic foreign ways when I was young, and he had a good job and education, but now I have come to realize how full of faux intellectualism America is, how little a degree correlates with intelligence, and that I married, as you would say, a redneck wife beater. I am quite sure that if his papa hadn’t struck oil on the old farm he would be utter trailer trash living in Bakersfield, or Fresno. He has been draining my account to fuel his drug habits, and last night even, his drug dealer came by lewdly eyeing me, saying that my husband had said that I would be offering him a “non monetary” payment. Needless to say, I slammed the door on that cretino, threatening to call the polizzia. On top of that, my boss is an evil bitch who says that I cannot sell Dolce and Gabana handbags if I keep coming to work with bruises on my face, even if I am Italiana! It’s my husband’s fault anyways! She wants to pass me up for promotion in favor of the entitled idiot who is 20 years younger than her and has completely gotten his position on his back. I just…don’t know what to do. I don’t make enough to support myself and my baby daughter alone, but I don’t want her growing up in this kind of environment. I signed a pre-nup when we got married and don’t have enough money to pay for a lawyer and buy justice. I feel out of options.” Beelzebub, Prince of Lies, saw no other option but to tell the plain truth. “Natalia firstly, you need to know that you are a wonderful person, and not at all at fault for what’s going on. You are not depressed because there’s something wrong with you, you are depressed because your life sucks. I can see this after just two sessions. What you need to do is to get your savings away from the access of your husband and hopefully save enough to start that fashion business of yours you always wanted. I recommend you combine it with a world class gelato service to attract more customers and occupy the previously unfilled Simi Valley gelato niche”, so said Lucifer, Duke of Debauchery, as he licked his lips, and looked suggestively, yet innocently into Natalia’s eyes. “I should know because I just looovee myself some gelato and always have to order it online, or go into LA. Speaking of which, I should go and get you some now, you look like you need some ice cream to cheer you up, as well as my customary complimentary mocha.”