We walked together down the street. The rain was coming down in sheets, but I held an umbrella for both of us. We were bundled warm and weren’t in a hurry to get home. I told myself we were walking peacefully, but there was something markedly stiff to our strides. I blamed our stiffness on the cold. I told myself that once we found our place in front of a crackling fireplace, everything would be warm and perfect again. But I knew that was a lie.

The truth was we were awkward around each other. We got along well enough, and I even enjoyed her company. She said she enjoyed mine. So what was there to fear?

Fear is like a hydra. Every time you lop off one head, you get two more to deal with. But what if you refuse to face your fears?

I led her to the door of her apartment. She unlocked and opened it, then stood on the threshold as though wondering what to do next. I stood under my umbrella, watching her. Finally she smiled and thanked me. The door closed and I was left outside in the rain. My apartment wasn’t far, but I didn’t want to make the trip. The umbrella felt unusually heavy.

On my way home, I stopped by the sporting goods store. I like to hunt. Even the Accident didn’t put an end to that. They didn’t have the rifle I wanted, but I took a look at some of their specials before excusing myself.

I eventually made it to my apartment, soaked and shivering. In a few minutes I had mechanically changed into more comfortable clothes and made a cup of tea. I found myself sitting in front of the fireplace. I was thinking, but I didn’t know what about. Rather than worry about it, I watched the flames for a while.

I don’t know how long it took me to start functioning again. When I did, I went to the computer. No new email. I started writing an article for a local newsletter. If I was fast, I might finish it in time to pay rent. But my mind was elsewhere.

We’d met in Phoenix, about two years ago. We had both been traveling, and she hadn’t brought an umbrella. We wound up arriving on the night of a freak thunderstorm. I’d given her my umbrella then, too. Anyway, long story short, we eventually found out we were from the same area. So we’d kept in touch.