“Why Naira? What’s wrong with our relationship? We both serve God, we’re both Christians, we love each other. What’s the matter?” Lennard asked over the phone in a desperate tone. She instantly receives that call the moment she messaged him about a possible break-up. How will she answer that question when even her brain and emotions can’t fathom what God wants her to do. She helplessly drop the phone and buried her sobs and tears over the pillow so that no one would know about what she’s into, not even her parents who were just in the other room. She can’t afford to let them know about the current state of their relationship. They love Lennard like their own son. He was the son that they never had, she being an only child. They are looking forward to see both of them ending up in church. What really happened is out of her plans to too. Of course, she longs to be Lennard’s wife. In fact, they’ve already planned a beautiful beach wedding early next year, settle in a place near the south and have four kids. She just sighed helplessly.

“Naira? Are you still there?”, it’s Lennard, still on the other line. She abruptly press the end button. She can’t answer him now, not this time when she herself can’t even give a clear reason for everything. Tears are welling from her eyes again. Of course she still loves him. No, there was no other man. It just that, it’s just that… It was not an overnight change of plan. This “nightmare” has been following her all the time, not just in her sleep but even when she’s wide awake. It has been months when she first heard from a preaching that started it all. Man has many plans in her heart but it is the purpose of the Lord that prevails- these were the words that gave a deep impact to her soul. The preacher even asked them to recall a time in their life when they made a decision that is way out of God’s will. She can’t recall a single moment that she deviated from God’s purpose. Oh, there were some, but they are forgivable offenses. She has always been a good daughter, a good sister, a good student, a good citizen. A few Sundays later, a new word knocked her out. This time, the intensity was higher. The topic for that day was sacrificial giving. God gave his only son Jesus-to the point of death just to save our soul. She taught at first she has an excuse to it because she has always been giving what is due to God until the preacher delivered his next sentence. “Giving doesn’t just mean money or any material things, it could be time, effort or a person who has been stealing your time for God”, the pastor added. She was taken aback. Never did it occur to her that Lennard has been taking God’s time. Did she just mention Lennard? What made her think that Lennard’s stealing God’s time. No, he doesn’t! “Oh Yes, he does!”, a small voice answered. Your whole life revolved around him. You rely your decisions on him as if you can’t make your own. You always want to be with Him. You always think of Him. The voice added too much and it’s too much to bear.