It’s just after 10am so I have plenty of time to fill in before my appointment. Crap that means plenty of time to think about him…..or her. No just get ready and go. Alright I’m dressed; I’ve managed to put some make up on that still does nothing to hide the big dark circles under my dull eyes. Still at least I have a little bit of colour to my checks now. A quick look in the mirror…ok that was a mistake. Note to self, take all mirrors down and put into the bin with him.

Right in the car now, but where to go? Just drive, anywhere is better then just sitting here were the neighbours can see you. It’s raining, perfect fits my mood. I’m driving but I’m not taking much notice, stop for red, go on green. I’ve come to a stop. Oh crap….why? Why did I come here? I don’t need to see or do I? All I have to do is look up just a bit to my right. Crap…Crap…Crap. I looked up and I can see. I can see him. He looks good, no he looks better then that. He looks happy, glowing happy. There isn’t a trace of dark circle under those perfect green eyes. He looks even better then the photo. Why is he smiling so much? It looks like he’s laughing. What could be so funny? My life is hitting a black hole, every second I’m closer to drowning into the big black abbess and he’s laughing?! OH, oh now I see….She is there. Of course she is there, they are at work. Little Miss Young must be telling a funny story or joke. Joke, she is the joke…or maybe it’s me who is the joke? Yep it’s me….I’m the one who is sitting out in the rain in the car 3 hours too early for my Dr’s appointment looking into his and her life that used to be mine. I’m the joke.