If you have spent any time with me at all you know my life has been one continuous short joke. And because all of you who decide to make fun of someone’s height are so damn hilarious I’ve been laughing for the last 26 years and for that I thank you. In fact if I am ever feeling down I simply go out in public and sure enough someone will have something amazingly funny to say, and I think to myself even though I’ve heard that one 100 times it still makes me laugh, thank you for that. You are so creative.

Along with all the humor my vertical good fortune has brought into my life it has also been responsible for posing some of the life’s most interesting questions. Such as, “How tall are?” “Hey, how tall are you?” Oh my, how tall are you.” And if I’ve known a person for awhile they will respectfully ask, “So… How tall are you?” It is as if people cannot sleep until they know. I have often thought I could have been responsible for many people possibly ending their lives, because I get the feeling that their lives would stop progressing if I failed to answer their compelling question. To remedy this situation I started wearing a sign around my neck listing my name and height, until someone kindly told me, “We didn’t really need to know your name, but thanks.”

Although something remarkable happened to me the other day, I was asked a question about my stature that I had never heard before. It was nothing short of incredible. I was at the doctor’s and the nurse asked, “So, have you always been this short?” I replied, “No, in fact just a few weeks ago I was 5’11”, but I hated having long beautiful legs and opted to have my short body back.”