I remember when I had two girls on the go and was texting them both at the same time and then got the replies mixed up. I was on my way to see Fiona and Zoe was keen to meet at the weekend … oh their names don’t matter now, because the next two texts went something like.

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Zoe: I fort u were @ home playin pro on Xbox wit d boyz, obviously nt, dnt evr call me again!!

Fiona: ‘I cn’t w8 2 see u @ d wkend eh’ obviously meant for some1 else. Jst gt ere quik. BF coming in 3 hrs.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some, she needs servicing and I’m her handyman when useless Andy her man with loads of dosh is not there. His name is not really Andy, would be ironic if it was; No his name’s Rupert, yes Rupert, as in the bear Rupert, what a twat!  

An hour later I’m sneaking out the back of Fiona’s Swanky pad, phone rings, it’s a friend I end up in a club, pulled a stripper and woke up somewhere. Called up Zoe got into her head and spent Saturday night and Sunday morning at her Flat. The stripper wasn’t actually, she’s a wannabe glamour model but if the boyz ask I’m claiming she was.

what a weekend !!

My life has been pretty crazy these days ever since my girlfriend of 3 years, took me for skiing lessons on the top of the snowy mountain, we had a fight, she said she’s been sleeping with that prick Jason, How long, six months she said, that put an end to the lessons. So there I was on the mountain top in Austria with no idea how to ski with that 1 and half grand ring I bought freezing my balls off.

I’m fine now though; I took it back and bought that Xbox 360, 32 Inch HDTV and oh some ski lessons.