Snack Attack

            There is a place called Orinda, where all were happy.  Dogs barked, teacher’s taught, and youngsters played.  Orinda was known for their snack foods, particularly their children snack foods.  The best snacks could be found in Orinda, and the best snacks in Orinda where made by a company run by Magic Johnson.  Magic’s company was working on a new type of snack that promoted kids to stay in shape.  It was a small bite sized snack that is alive, so that kids would have to chase it to eat it.  Of course the snack would only have enough brain activity to be able to run away and not be able to think and comprehend what was happening around it.  Magic Johnson loved the idea, and before long the new snack sensation was in every kids home, they called the snack, Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack.

  All was well, kids were losing weight, and Magic Johnson was getting more money than ever had before.  However, it just so happened that Magic Johnson also owns a radioactive weapon company, and it also just so happens that Magic’s radioactive weapons company operates in the same facility as his snack company.  It wasn’t a big surprise when some radioactive material got  mixed in with, Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack.  Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack became a hundred foot tall mindless gummy monster, and it wasn’t just one snack, it was hundreds that were affected by the radioactive waste.  They destroyed the good city of Orinda, thousands of people were killed.  The government knew that if they didn’t do something soon the whole world would be overrun by Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack.  The government, like always, came up with the most rational solution for the problem at hand; they called up the biggest eaters in America to attack Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack with nothing other than a fork and knife. 

Those men eat until they could eat no more, and that’s not an expression they literally eat until they exploded into many little pieces.  It was a tough battle, many men died, but in the end American’s natural ability to eat unhealthy amounts of food made it possible for them to win the battle against Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack.  It took a long time for the human race to get over the fact that food, who everyone always trusted, tried to eat them.  Eventually Orinda was rebuilt and Magic Johnson, the living gummy snack became no more than a memory.  What’s the moral of this story you may ask?  Well its plain and simple, if you try to eat food then it’s going to grow into a hundred foot tall monster and try to kill you.