Well, I slandered, helpless, abused by my brother, disowned by my father, reviled for you, I left the world of men … not by suicide, nor retiring to a convent … but to retreat to this sort of desert island nestled in the ocean of life, and from which would only be in contact with the infinite … Locked in a convent would have been too theatrical in my situation would have been scandalous (as at times, also the works of mercy cause scandal preferred …), and make this observatory, where, without eagerness or laziness, could living ( and have lived five years) in the contemplation of heaven and my soul … The horrible tragedy that forced me to banish from society had led me at once to spontaneous vow not to set eyes on any woman, or live and die without love … My condition after disinherited advised me not to have no friends who could eventually be ashamed of having shaken hands, and if I was weak at this point one day … the day that I met you and Diego … and remember the cruel torments caused me after your friendship! I locked myself because, again and forever in this room, and again reduced me to live my own, without expecting anything from men …
“Neither did I miss what its consolations? When my father sent me curse when I met the horrible calumny which hung over my head when I saw it for the happiness of my father, my innocent brother and slander it was required that I resign myself to such an atrocious injustice, it seemed the sky is half opened and God said to me: ‘I know you’re innocent: I appreciate your sacrifice, I am proud of Habert servant, I will reward you with my everlasting love.’ When afterwards I learned that my father had died, cursing again and disadvantaged …, I knelt in the middle of this room, and I stared at the sky …