The boss’s deputy a wheelchair bound lunatic, permanently high on drugs and embittered by the time he’d been crippled by a taxi. A pile of hard-core porn mag’s kept him amused when business went quiet.

‘Where the f..k you been, farang. Could’ve gone across Thailand the time you take. His Highness wants to see you, like yesterday.’

Another leer. What was it with these people? The rumour, the boss some kind of transvestite, caught in the act, bent over his desk with Somgrai doing the business. But the guy who’d seen it had disappeared the next day, fueling the gossip but never confirming it.

It was hard to believe. The boss looked like a throwback to the apes, built like a sumo wrestler; excessive hair sprouted out of ears, nose and throat… if he didn’t shave three times a day he’d turn into a werewolf. He looked as feminine as a Russian shot-putter. A weird mixture of Thai, Malay and Filipino blood, judging by the overwhelming effect of the ugliness the latter in dominance.

‘Ah, Marky, how you getting on?’

I tried to look enthusiastic without appearing foolish. The boss had the kind of temper on him that would, in saner circumstances, allow him a job as the head of a deprived state run school somewhere on the marginal borders, where it was hard to tell if the kids were Thai or Cambodian.

‘I can’t get in contact with that company you mentioned, where you worked before. All sounds like a load of bullshit to me.’

‘I want to live a long time.’

‘That’s no good. Gotta live for the moment. Go for it! No sense holding back. I was in your position once but I was top dog. Fastest guy across town. A cager got in my way he’d end up dropping a load. Know what I mean?’

I’d told a pack of lies to get the job, didn’t know whether I was coming or going but it wouldn’t do me any good to admit that.

‘I’ll try to speed things up a bit, but it’s a matter of wanting to make it into my twenties without ending up in a wheelchair or on a life support machine. Bangkok traffic defines the meaning of the word insane!’

‘You can’t think like that, buddy. You think like that you’ll end up a basket-case. Not making much money, are you? You have to pay for the privilege of a job in Thailand… You want to make some serious money, we can work something out.’