ACT I

Scene 1

Inside the kitchen at the Krusty Krab

SpongeBob:

Order Up, Squidward!

(SpongeBob rings the bell twice)

The register with squidward and a costumer

Squidward:

Here you are sir, a Triple Krabby Supreme and coral bits… with extra kelp sauce.

(Squidward tosses the costumer a bottle of kelp sauce)

Costumer:

Thanks

(With attitude)

SQUIDWARD:

Its 10:30 SpongeBob, that was the last costumer.

(No response)

SQUIDWARD:

SpongeBob? Where did her go?

Inside the bathroom, the door opens with a squeak.

SQUIDWARD:

SpongeBob?! Where did that yellow buffoon go? Its closing time I want to go home.

Outside Mr. krabbs office Squidward opens the door

Mr. Krabbs & spongbob:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUDWARD!

SQUIDWARD:

AHHHHHHHHH!

(Squidward jumps into the air and clings onto the ceiling fan in)

SQUIDWARD:

What are you two doing? Wait how did you know it was my birthday? I hate my birthday, I never tell anyone.

Mr. Krabbs:

Spongbob told me.

Screen shot of SpongeBob with a larger than life smile on his face.

SQUIDWARD:

SpongeBob? How did you know it was my birthday I’ve never told you?

SPONGEBOB:

When I was talking on the phone with your mom she told me.

SQUIDWARD:

Why would my mom tell you… wait why were you talking on the phone with my mother?

SPONGEBOB:

I talk to your mom all the time; she is such a nice lady. Did you know she makes the best clam strudel?

(squidward slumps over in depression)

SQUIDWARD:

Well don’t remind me I, hate my birthday.

Mr.krabbs:

What do you mean, squidward? Birthdays are the best the one day people give you free things just because you were born… speaking of free things happy birthday squidward

(Mr. Krabbs hands squidward an envolpe)

SQUIDWARD:

Wow thanks Mr. Krabbs. you shouldnt have.

Squidward opens the envelope and reads:

“1 free head polishing at Joes shiny heads”

SQUIDWARD:

Really you shouldn’t have.

SpongeBob:

Your present will come later, Squidward. Just you wait.

SQUIDWARD:

Please don’t. Work ended 7 minuets ago; I’m leaving, good-bye Mr. Krabbs.

Mr. Krabbs:

Bye Squidward, have a happy birthday.

SQUIDWARD:

Hummh

(Squidward walks out with a sour face)

I can’t wait to get home and spend a relaxing evening to myself relaxing.

Out side of Squidward’s tiki house, fumbling with his keys

SQUIDWARD:

Finally home

Squidward opens his door, walks in and flips the night switch, the lights don’t turn on.

SQUIDWARD:

What the?

The lights come on to SpongeBob and Patrick and Gary standing underneath a big sign that reads “Happy Birthday sandy” but the “sandy” is crossed off and a poorly drawn “squodwerd” in its replacement.

SpongeBob and Patrick:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUIDWARD!!

SQUIDWARD:

What is all this?!

SPONGEBOB:

It’s your surprise party! We invited a lot more people but I guess the invitations never got to them.

SQUIDWARD:

SpongeBob, Patrick I really appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but you know what would dbe really great?

SPONGBOB AND PATRIC:

What?

SQUIDWARD:

IF YOU TWO GOT OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!

Patrick:

What? We cant leave the party is just getting started!

SPONGEBOB:

Yeah! Its now time for party games!

SQUIDWARD:

What party games?

(SpongeBob blindfolds squidward hand hands him a needle)

SQUIDWARD:

What? Wait? what’s going on?

PATRICK:

Pin the tail on the sea horse!

(Patrick pushes squidward towards a poster of a green sea horse)

SQUIDWARD:

Ahhhh

(Squidward looses his balance and falls into one of his abstract paining of himself, tearing it)

SPONGEBOB:

Image via Wikipedia