Stingy Customer

    I stood there in disgust as I listened to the man across the counter  babble on about his beloved new diet that was launching him into a whole new realm of healthiness. It was not the diet itself that made my stomach churn but rather this ridiculous man’s apparent belief in it. Listen to this, it’s absurd: “The caffeine in large quantities of coffee can cause random cravings throughout your day for fatty foods and sweets. To counter this effect, have a very small cup of coffee and substitute whip cream for the remaining amount of coffee you would normally drink.” The biggest load of you know what I’d ever heard. It didn’t even make a bit of sense.
    Then it hit me. As our stupid argument about “good” fats versus “bad” fats progressed I realized this whole whip cream gimmick was merely the fabrication of yet another one of my stingy customers who are constantly trying to take advantages of the loopholes in our menu. No, there is no way we can charge you for whip cream. Yes, we can put whip cream on any drink if you ask for it. No, there are no restrictions on the cup sizes even if you order an 8 oz. coffee and want it in a 20 oz. cup. And, yes you are a stingy bastard  and an embarrassment to yourself for swindling a cup of whip cream out of my store.
    My suspicions were confirmed when he requested another large cup, took it to the cream & sugar bar, and proceeded dumping the entire carafe of half & half milk into the cup.