A Valentine’s Day story produced at a job search class A SHORT STORY A PHONETIC NIGHT OUT Co-authored by my friend, Wodje. A background note to this short story. Wodje and I were involved in a job-searching course, where our very nice tutor often relieved the tensions of the day with games and basic creativity exercises. On the 31st January 2011, the writing exercise involved creating a short story in which we had to use as many of the 26 words in the International Phonetic Alphabet used by police and emergency services everywhere. (An earlier game had been guessing the words for each letter, in which I got only 11 out of 26. This was our story, as read to the group, along with two other stories developed by our course colleagues. I have highlighted the 26 phonetic words around which the shamelessly contrived story hangs here in block capitals. Enjoy, and my thanks to Wodje for his work here too. AC.

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One night, last NOVEMBER, CHARLIE Wrake and his fiancée, JULIET Jones, were dancing a TANGO at the QUEBEC Club, Charlie slipped away to get more drinks when some creepy ROMEO took his chances and started trying to chat Juliet up. He offered to buy her a WHISKEY. Charlie came back to find the lecherous Romeo being over-persistent and told him in no uncertain terms to get lost.

“Oh BRAVO,” said Juliet, offering mock applause. He was getting really annoying. What a creep. I thought you were going to have to punch him. He would have needed an X-RAY to find his teeth if you had done.

The music tempo changed so they stae, rted dancing the FOXTROT they’d learned in LIMA on their first holiday together, a Valentine’s Day treat organized by Charlie. . They’d been on a boat cruising through the river DELTA where the incessant monkey screeching would ECHO round all day and night.

The dance was interrupted by a cell-phone call from Juliet’s PAPA, called MIKE Jones. He was still working at the HOTEL. He wanted to know if Charlie would be free the next day to join him for a game of GOLF. He promised to pick Charlie up at home in his car, a SIERRA.

Charlie wasn’t too sure. He had another invite too. His friend VICTOR had just returned from working in INDIA as an advisor to their custom’s officials. He’d impressed the Indian Custom’s officials when he helped catch a junkie carrying half a KILO of Smack. He was barely out of UNIFORM, but he still wanted to meet up with Charlie. Trouble was, Victor was boring. He had an irritating way of constantly singing YANKEE-Doodle Dandie.

After a chat with Juliet, Charlie decided to keep the date with her Papa. Victor could wait. He was probably jet lagged anyway. Using Juliet’s phone, Charlie rang her Papa who had just arrived home from the work. He was about to watch ZULU on TV.

He was delighted by the Golf arrangements and offered to save the couple from having to get a taxi home from the Quebec Club by driving to the club and give them a lift. He needed directions, as he wasn’t sure where the club was. They told him. “It’s on Algothorius Street.”

He asked them to spell it while he wrote it down. Juliet started “A for ALPHA. L for….”

Arthur Chappell / Wodje