Life is a programmed sense of what you have installed into your memory. All it is is just of your memory. An unforgettable structure. you will most likely remember something bad that had happened in your past, because you take into a wonder

if you made the mistake of the hurt and pain that was caused to you, or if was all the person who ruined your life, the person that made you break down and change into the kind of person that you used to despise.

And it all replays in a tune, when you dream you apply every unbreakable action in your head.

You put it on repeat but when you go to turn it off it won’t stop it is a never ending statement in your head.

The scars have imprinted themselves into your skin ever so slightly; ever so permanently, into your mind they can’t be erased.

Just like a sharpie on a piece of paper. Sure you can rip it up, and then start over. But you will always know you stained that page. It would be like a scar on your mind; your heart, your wrists, even more definitely your soul.

You can try to….

end your life, pills from the bottle, razor on the skin.

But.

What are you accomplishing?

My own life was ruined at twelve; the memory of hurt and destruction was implanted right into my brain like a never ending playwright. He hurt me, like no one ever had before. Hurt me in ways that will never go away. Nobody could help, even though I screamed and cried out. I’m sixteen and the pain still over takes me; in my sleep.

It’s a never ending, breath taking, life devouring dream.

My life turned upside down I was on the ground emotionally and no one took such a notice at all. So, I started keeping to myself. Pretending I was going to be okay, and that my life was just the same. I went home every day. Popped some pills, then laid down I was hopeful to think I took enough to get me through the night.

I slept for a few hours but the dream over took me, just like the night before. I wake up screaming. It’s the same every night. I blame myself for being so sh*tless and unmindful. Not know he would end up hurting me. Everyday goes by and the dreams get worse. I set my mind straight and go out for a drive. Sit on the corner by the park and cry. My eyes start to close as I want to drift to sleep in this peaceful place. When a knock on my window alerts me. Makes me eyes open in shock. Stare out the window, there is a cop. I roll down my window with my tiny hands. ‘Ms is everything alright?’ I bring up every ounce of courage to lie, even though I want to tell him no, tell him everything that happened to me. How much life sucks on my end of the line. ‘Yes everything is fine, just tired and living in a loud neighborhood.’ He opens his mouth and asks me ever so politely to move my car. ‘This is a no parking zone.’ A sigh escapes my formed lips and I agree to do as I am asked.