He was abusive to my mom and me, and after the divorce, later ended up molesting me. I drank here and there, but it was never a big deal. By age 14, I met a group of stoners I quickly became to love, and a boyfriend whom today I am still madly in love with. I began smoking weed, recreationally of course.

It was fun and relaxed me. But then my friends started stealing bottles of hard alcohol, and tall cans of beer constantly, and I began to drink. Within a month, my mom had had to pick me up wasted off my ass several times, and I had cheated on my boyfriend while I was extremely drunk, making the biggest mistake of my life. Then, my boyfriend started using DXM, dextrotomethorphan, the drug found in cough and cold medicine. I tried it, and became addicted.

I was getting messed up off my a** every day, if it wasn’t alcohol, it was DXM, and then ecstasy soon after. I kept getting arrested and finally ended up in juvi. When I got out, I lost my boyfriend of 2 years to one of my old best friends, they’re still together and constantly around me, plus she beat the living sh*it out of me and put me in the hospital. I have always been a peace keeper and refused to fight back, plus I was too drunk to even try. Now, I’ve slipped back into my ways again, drinking, popping pills, doing coke, doing meth, whatever’s available, and there usually always is.

I’ve stolen from the most important person in my life, my little brother, just so I could get high. I’m addicted to cigarettes and my aunt just died of lung cancer. I’ve overdosed twice in the past year. I have about 3 real friends, and they’re all addicts. The rest of the people I used to talk to all the time hate me for the stupid, inconsiderate things I have done while intoxicated, and use me for my cigarettes and often times drug money. My ex boyfriend won’t even talk to me; he was my best friend and everything I had. My mom won’t help me and my dad wants nothing to do with me.

I have no one to pull me out of this situation that I’m dying to get out of. I have such wonderful goals and ambitions for my life, but no support and no way to change my life. I’ve tried everything a teenage girl can do. I’m so lost; I don’t know how to change. All I know is I want to.