“How did you manage to freeze time like this in order to show blood-thirst and mayhem?” asks Mr. Mxyzptlk.

He’s referring, of course, to a simple common picture of a crime scene on the front page.

Perry White is looking at this three-foot-tall guy who looks like Martin Van Buren but has huge puffy rectangular purple cuff links on an orange jumpsuit. And a cute little purple leprechaun hat on his bald head.

“What the hell are you?” White says. “Get the hell out of my office!”

“Fine,” says Mxyzptlk. “If that’s the way it’s gotta be.”

Meanwhile Lois has her niece staying with her — the irrepressible little Susie Tompkins from the old Superman comics. She’s a tattler and huge huge huge storyteller and fibber. As Mr. Mxyzptlk stalks key members of the Daily Planet, such as Lois at her apartment, he ends up becoming friends with young Susie. Mxyzptlk realizes that this young girl has no credibility with the adults. That she’s always lying and always getting called on it, and thus Lois and others will believe everyone else before her. Mxyzptlk takes advantage of this by learning everything he can about the guy her aunt’s been writing alot about lately — Superman.

After stopping something Mxyzptlk does, (they want me to write these more complicated action scenes they have to pay me), Mr. Mxyzptlk figures out that Superman and Clark Kent are the same person. Long before the whole world ever puts this together like in the Christopher Reeve movies, legend goes, Mr. Mxyzptlk always poses the worst threat and challenge to the Man of Steel because not even Lex Luthor knows that Superman has a secret identity and nobody at the Daily Planet knows that Clark Kent is nothing BUT a secret identity.

Mxyzptlk first asks Ma Kent nicely to tell her about how his son gets those incredible powers to do the stuff he does. She won’t say anything.

Superman shows up on the scene in full costume and kicks him into space.

Mxyzptlk, about to be sucked up by the space vacuum because he’s kicked so high past Earth, says his name backwards in emergency to end up back in his dimension.

He’s now in a version of space where there is no vaccuum, his home cube being nearby.

He could simply abort this mission and go home. But no. This is a challenge now.

He goes and sure enough…idea serves…he finds a version of Earth in this new dimension. It’s not spherical. It’s a CUBE!!!!

And so he heads down there.

Back to where the Kent farm would be.

And sure enough, this time, Ma Kent answers his questions enthusiastically, pours him lemonade, and then starts to put a bunch of grapefruits up on staffs. She takes a pair of eye goggles, puts them on, and then tells Mxyzptlk to watch what happens with no eyewear…she picks up a shotgun and blasts one of the grapefruits. CH-CH-BOOOOM!!!!

Some of the juice squirts into Mxyzptlk’s eye and stings him.

She laughs and says — that is what fragments of his home planet, Kryptonite, would feel like to my son compared to a human.

And so Mr. Mxyzptlk goes out in the direction of Krypton and goes and collects himself some rocks of blue Kryptonite…then he goes back to our dimension and collects some green Kryptonite as well.

Then he goes back, once again, to the fifth dimension.

To the cubic Earth.

To the fortress of solitude at the North Pole.

And that’s where he finds a version of Superman with a purple outfit and one eye bulging and a sign on his chest that reads “BIZARRO #1″.

Mr. Mxyzptlk has found himself yet a second challenge for the mighty Man of Steel…and one he can control with the very minerals in his hand…

COMING ONE DAY TO THEATRES MAYBE!!!!