I got onto the subway train with no clear destination in mind. Since I didn’t care to look at anyone, I took a seat in the far corner of the train’s compartment with my eyes fixed to the ground. I sat there for the duration of two stops with my head in my hands. Finally, I glanced at the wall to my right and for a moment I wasn’t sure if what I saw was a window which allowed me to see people in the next compartment, or if it was a mirror, showing me a reflection of the people sitting in my compartment. One could find a strange sense of relief from a disorienting situation like this. It reminded me of how inconsequential everything could be. It was similar to waking up and for a moment not knowing for sure where I was. I needed a moment to not care where I was.

The train came to a sudden halt which jolted me back to reality. The conductor’s voice came on over the intercom to announce the approaching and following stops. The following stop was Green Street and I remembered there being a McDonalds a couple of blocks up from the Green Street subway terminal. I still had a couple of dollars from my unemployment checks, so at the next stop, I got off the train and made my way to see what was on the McDonalds dollar menu.

As I entered the McDonalds, I heard screaming from a baby in the dining area that seemed to be in fierce competition with a barrage of high pitched tones that sounded from behind the main counter. I filed into line, where I examined the dollar menu and took a moment to decide what I wanted. Two employees were taking the customers orders at the main counter. I told one of them what I wanted and as I watched the employee’s process my order, I became nauseous. I watched as the attendant entered my order into the computer, printed my receipt and then placed it on a tray which sat on the main counter. There were three other employees at a different work station and it was their job to prepare the meal and make sure that it got to the tray on the counter. The various work stations were set up with efficiency in mind. Everything was pre-packaged, interchangeable and disposable. Even the employees were interchangeable, much like the passengers I encountered in the different compartments of the train. It was the first time that I felt that I couldn’t empathize with someone. In fact, I felt nothing for them. I felt like the McDonalds was this money making mechanism that was comprised of parts, and it just so happened that some of the parts were people.

“Sir, your beverage and burger are ready but we are still waiting on the fries and chicken nuggets.” The attendant placed my beverage and burger on the tray. I searched the attendant’s eyes to see if I could find any trace amounts of dignity and I found nothing. I grabbed my drink and my burger and with much haste, I walked away from the establishment and never looked back.

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