WARNING: Many people have been subjected to this book and have been hypnotized because of its violent and disturbing nature…I warn you, don’t read this is you are faint of heart…

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a stupid little kid named Billy. Billy was walking down the street when he saw a semi-bus-car-truck-horse-soapbox-dunebuggy-jeep-lowrider-snowboard-skateboard-bicycle. He was amazed at it. It looked just like a unicycle! He got on it and he crashed into a tree, and ran over his neighbor’s cats. His neighbor threw his cats at Billy, and Billy swerved off course into a man-eating zombie Sasquatch monkey. It attacked Billy and Billy ran away, back to his house. When he got home, he saw a kid who kept saying , “Mommy, Simon is home…” Billy punted the kid in the head and he flew into a garbage can. Little Billy then sat down on his couch, which said to him, “Get off me fool, or I’ll beat u down!” Billy yelled really loudly and hit his head on a bomb. The bomb started to tick and suddenly Billy exploded. Billy thought to himself, “Well…this stinks…” Billy then scraped himself off the ceiling and put himself back together. He then exited his house and jumped on top of a car and then proceeded to jump onto his house. He saw a robber who was holding up a jewelry store. He ran over and stopped the robber. The robber had a black ski mask on, and he had an A.K. 47. The robber said to Billy, “what’re you gonna’ do about this?” Billy thought for a moment before saying, “If you don’t stop…I’ll kick you in the throat and you’ll twitch and be sent to a hospital!” Then Billy walked away, quite happy. Billy suddenly had the sudden urge to suddenly bomb New York while everyone was suddenly distracted by a sudden occurrence from a random guy. So, Billy bombed New York. He bombed New York with a seemingly dead cat. Billy then went back home and got pinched by a zombie. Billy bit the zombie’s eyes out. Billy was tired so he sat down to watch a pro football player and a farmer wrestle with a wolverine on top of a plate of spaghetti all covered in cheese… when Billy lost his poor meat ball after his mom sneezed… in his bedroom.  Billy was indiscsoscuous J J J J                 (pronounced: In-dih-sah-syou-wiss) so he ate his brother and crammed his sister’s face into a toilet…she could never not ever not never ever not never ever escape…she was doomed for all eternity…her new name is now Toilet lady. Anyways, Billy shoved himself in between a rope and a nailgun. He accidentally shot himself in the balls with it, and then he got choked by the rope. He freed himself and said “Hi, I am now god…” and he was. Billy then turned a frying pan into a pigeon horse with forty eyes and sixteen noses. Billy then kicked it and it turned into a man eating banana-spoon-koala-fish, which destroyed Cuba a week later. Billy ate a noob and said, “Wow, what a retarded noob!” Little Billy then went outside to play ball with his new pet, an alien from the planet Xenon. The alien used its laser vision to flash-fry Billy’s ball. Billy got really angry and took out a hammer and stabbed the alien. The alien ran away and fell off of Billy’s house in a crumpled heap. Billy suddenly fell through the ground. An evil demon met him near a fiery gate. “You! Did you kill an alien?” Billy said no and he got sent back up to earth. Billy thought, “Well…I guess it’s a bad thing if you kill aliens…” Suddenly a cloud appeared out of nowhere and engulfed Billy in a swarm of flying piranhas. Billy could not escape. So, he chucked a noob at them and they went after the noob, like hungry PB& jackolope sandwich noobs. After that, Billy caught a walrus with a vacuum. It got stuck inside the vacuum so Billy could not get it out. So, he then felt criminally insane and released all the crazy people in Gotham City Asylum. Billy got owned one day by Sasquatch Billy. But Billy was too awesome! He kicked Sasquatch Billy around the nuts and ate his livers from behind his ears. So then, a pack of angry Big Red wrappers emerged from the underworld and began to lick themselves and stick onto Billy. Billy burst into flames. He used water and glue to reform himself. Suddenly a giant Mormon moron octopus came and made Billy into a candle and lit him on fire… Billy ate himself and the Octopus blew up into candy balls of jelly. Sasquatch Billy revived Billy and Billy turned into Billy the quadrupley awesome mega overlord III. So, Billy the quadrupley awesome mega overlord III went to the store and got robbed by a flying chicken dressed up as a sheep. Billy the mega overlord owned himself forty times over. Billy took out a piece of pie and stuck it to a stick and attracted a hungry man, who tried to eat the pie, but Billy accidentally stuck the stick through his head. Billy said, “Oops,” and walked away from the scene. Osama Bin Laden pwned himself and Billy choked a dog because it got bit by a vampire. Nobody could escape…it was too late. Billy was too good… But then a noob pwned him twice. After the noob pwned Billy, Billy demoted himself to turn into “Noots Bop Gut: the legendary hero dude.” Osama got mad at Billy and sent his army of hungry alien midgets after Billy. Then out of nowhere 10 uckatrillion amoebas came and took Billy away to a magical place where there were unicorns and pink weasel eating potato sand witches. Suddenly an orange sponge attacked Billy and tried to drown Billy’s pet fish underwater! Billy said, “Wow, you’re really stupid.” The rag owned Billy and ran away. Then more amoebas came. The amoebas picked up a brick and hit Billy and Billy fell out of a window, onto a car, rolled 300 yards down a street, got eaten by pigeons, had ketchup poured on him, got owned by a bean, then finally Billy rolled up into a ball and got hit with a hundred tomatoes…! A midget came by Billy and ate Monty Python and burned himself like a burnt piece of pizza in a burnt-up oven. The noob, in which Billy threw into a swarm of flying piranhas, came back to life and turned into a samurai. Billy fell back down to Earth, but everything was all retarded and distorted and maniacal and demented and pwned…Suddenly a koala gnawed some random dudes head off, and the guy shot up in the air, into the sun…  Billy was really confused so he found a pellet gun and held up a grocery store and got away with four purple turkeys and $6.24. Soon after that, the cops arrived and kicked Billy in the stomach, thus causing Billy to throw up his internal organs. Billy ceased to live and he turned into Gunyay, the human…uh…the human…well…he turned into Gunyay the human-human. After that Gunyay started to worship a wax Santa figure and it came to life and infected Illinois and Japan with an evil zombie virus. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a squeaky alligator toy appeared and transformed into Level Megatron Ultra Defense Mechanism Strategized Offense Tactical Unit Assassin Macho Doom Epic Pwnage Device System 3.0 and started a three million year rampage upon the island of Jamaica. But luckily, Kobe Kingston owned it. Gunyay fell asleep and he dreamt of orange sausages and black tacos and spiky cucumbers who could talk to people. The Orange sausage said to Gunyay, “MMM…sausage sauce sausage sau sau sausage sausa!” Gunyay nodded, woke up, and stated speaking in Sausage to the president of the U.S.A. which was Barrack Obama. Gunyay didn’t like Obama, so Gunyay put a mind control device on the U.S. military and Gunyay took over the world and stuff…he was like…epic ownage and all that stuff!