According to FBI Statistics (via Gawker), St. Louis, Missouri has been named the most dangerous city in America. It’s the arches, man. They will come down on you and rape your dogs. I’ve seen it happen. It’s very Shyamalanesque. Funny, though: There’s no Grand Theft Auto: St. Louis.

Funny thing, though: Many of the cities you equate with danger — Philly, NYC, Boston, and Los Angeles — don’t even make the top 25, although some of the cities you do equate with danger — Camden, Detroit, Compton — make the top ten. You can see how the top 400 cities rank here. My current city of residence doesn’t break the top 400 because it’s the 17th safest city in America. Keep that in mind if any of you folks are looking for a nice place to live, close to the ocean, topless parades, and zombie kickball. It’s also one of the gayest cities in the nation.

Here’s the 25 Most Dangerous. Raise your hands and empty your pockets if you live in one.

1. St. Louis, MO
2. Camden, NJ
3. Detroit, MI
4. Flint, MI
5. Oakland, CA
6. Richmond, CA
7. Cleveland, OH
8. Compton, CA
9. Gary, IN
10. Birmingham, AL
11. Baltimore, MD
12. Memphis, TN
13. New Orleans, LA
14. Jackson, MS
15. Little Rock, AR
16. Baton Rouge, LA
17. Buffalo, NY
18. New Haven, CT
19. Hartford, CT
20. Dayton, OH
21. Kansas City, MO
22. Washington, DC
23. Newark, NJ
24. Cincinnati, OH
25. Atlanta, GA