A man went to a grape barber
but found nobody there
there were not any customers
and nobody cutting hair
so he gently turned around and said
to the side walking by
“where is it they have gone?

and can you tell “who am I?”
and the sidewalk stared down the man whole
and said in a voice that rasped

“you are a void of emptiness
but I doubt if you will grasp,
the meaning of the wind and rain,
for the answer’s already past.”
and the man whole left the barber and said with face so grim
“all I wanted from the grape barber was my narrow minded trim”
so he went to see his bishop
to find what was his fate
and the bishop burst out laughing
and made up dirty rhymes

“this cannot be the answer”, he said to the man of God
“here I am a man whole but I’m feeling rather odd”
it was then that God Himself
In a vision did appear
the man whole and the bishop
were both struck dumb with fear
the man whole was the first to speak
to his one true lord
“what seems to be my problem
could it be that I am bored?”
“no my son”, the bishop said
with all due pomp and grace
it is that you are dirty with all your sin and hate

God’s ears they were singed
and he called upon his queen
and good old virgin mary
came crashing to the scene
her voice was soft and gentle
like a lion when it roars
and she said, “fear not man whole,
the church was made of whores
that torment and downgrade you
with childishness and drool
and if you believe in all they say,
they have made of you a fool”

the bishop could not believe it
as this washed across his holy head
his pompous contrite heart fell broken
and the bishop, he fell dead
God stood back and shook his head
in sorrow and disgust
and there before the man whole’s eyes
the bishop turned to dust
“you see man whole”, said God in a voice
so soft and kind
“you should not look for me in church,
but instead inside your mind”
and man whole was elated
for he found himself and God
he no longer felt so funny
he no longer felt so odd

he returned to the grape barber
he was flying high
but the side walking said something
and the man whole nearly cried
he was sitting in the barber chair
telling what he did
and the side walking said to him,
“now do not flip your lid,
but what if there is no God
even in your mind,
as it was I said before,
you’re really out of time,
what happened to you my friend
does not really prove a thing,
except you believe everything
that anybody flings.”
and the man whole thought it over
and the answer he did give
did not make any sense at all
cause his mind it is a sieve