It was a warm windy day at Smith Falls, with the sun beating down upon the hard earth of the soccer pitch. However, this calm and picturesque setting was not what it seemed to be… for Jesse McNeilly had arrived. The other players looked up with relief at seeing the well mannered and briliant Mr. McNeilly walk across the pitch to place his steroid infested water bottle on the ground.

As the game started all was not well, the wind curved and twisted the ball in very odd directions, and the dominant Kickers squad was only up 1-0. At a peak in the game, Jesse decided to try and kick the ball… except… it was in the direction of the family jewels of one very short and stupid keeper. The ball was caught and Jesse’s kick missed, and all I can say is “He delivered a kick… Which could shatter bones… Into the crotch… of the keepers hard “bone”…” and he fell down rithing in pain, as Jesse stared on in vain… Jesse watched the little asshole swear and continue to swear on the ground, as Jesse was assessed a yellow card for not having enough talent.

As the game progressed, some loser decides to see how tough he is and shoves himself into Jesse BIG mistake… Jesse turns around and says in a voice that could of scared the Gods themselves “You want to go?” His advesary replies “Yes” So Jesse, amused at his bravey, taunts him and says in a measured tone of surety “Bring it on biatch, let’s go right now” Now, it remains to be seen whether or not it was Jesse’s ferocity or the soccer ball coming towards them but he replies “No this is a soccer game”

As he walks away, Jesse stares at him with contempt… he has been denied a chance to spill blood this day, but he takes consolation in the fact that there will be others the tear apart… and so as he stalks off the fight is the last thing on his mind… he is wondering when he will finally actually do a bicycle kick in a game…