The Center of the Universe 

Then there was the time the scientists ascertained that the earth really was the center of the universe and the cosmos did in reality revolve around the earth, explaining the missing mass and the accelerated expansion in one fell swoop.
The Thief was innocent of any wrongdoing this time, but he had fudged the results for the original red-shifts, just as he had fudged the first results for spinach, so he got more Time.
As the cosmoslogists waxed beatific in neo-Ptolomian bliss, experimental physics prooved that Schrodinger’s cat was alive. Alive! Well, he was alive as long as you didn’t look at him.  But the carcass was alive with an entire eco-system of micro-biota. Which from a quantum perspective was equivalent to the speed of light divided by its length. Do the math.