The Best and Worst of Mum: The Childless Market.

             Mum always did such a great job in raising me and my brother, and what a handful we could be (refer to Fletch and Bro). She made us lunch every day, spoilt us at Christmas, made us great diners, put up with us as teenagers when we decided every 7 minutes we would tell her to get fucked. Ah teenagers, I can’t believe I was one. She did a fantastic job as a single mum and went through a lot to make me the upstanding gentleman I am today. So many great things I could say about her. The fact that she is heavily involved in her community or how she is a great kindergarten teacher or how she makes the most delicious cakes or how about the fact that she is a damn dirty liar!

            Yeah I said it, she’s a liar!

It’s funny how clever mums can be. I remember her fooling me into believing Santa Claus was real. I even remember the first year I was conscious of the idea that Santa may not exist and I set out to only tell Santa himself what I wanted for Christmas. I would leave mum out of the loop. This would be between Santa and me. Let’s see that woman try and work out what I want for Christmas when she doesn’t have me begging for it. But sure enough come Christmas morning there under the tree was my desired gift, a blue tip truck. Man it was sweet. It was all plastic and you could do so much with it, like fill the back with dirt and move it around the yard or even into the house! It did heaps of other stuff too, like….um…..did I mention it was blue?! I will never know how she found out that I wanted it. I swear that Santa at the mall must have been wearing a wire!

            I will never know how mum found out I wanted that plastic truck but I did find out how she managed to buy it without me noticing. As a single mum she couldn’t rely on our dad to keep an eye on us while she did the Christmas shopping. So she shopped at a big set of markets a few towns over from where we lived. We had to go there because as mum explained it was a special market where children weren’t allowed. It was a place for mothers only so they could do the shopping for Christmas and the children would not find out what their present would be until the day it was due. That childless market must have really caught on as an idea because over the years they even started selling Easter Eggs and birthday presents in there too. My brother and I had to wait in the car with our grandmother. I remember the hours ticking by with our faces pressed hard against the glass staring through the gates trying to get a glimpse into the Childless market. What went on beyond those doors? I would always imagine a place so beautiful. Golden floors, bright lights, shelves stacked high with presents so wonderful even a child couldn’t imagine them, mothers laughing and chatting with one another about all the great things they would buy, shopping trolleys piled high with gifts, everything out of reach of children’s sticky fingers, friendly cashiers wearing Santa hats, jingle bells playing over the loud speakers and…..not a child in sight.